Pandora's Box
by Manu4380
Summary: "The way I see it, you choose if you want to be a winner or a loser and I decided that someone like me could only belong with the winners." - in which Kurt is popular, dating a girl and hiding some secrets.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note:** This is an AU (or AR, from what I've heard) so expect some characters to be slightly different when it comes to personalities. I'm not sure how many chapters this will have, but this story has been strongly influenced by Maroon 5's album "Hands All Over", so you'll probably see some lines that look familiar or some direct/indirect references to some of the songs in this album. I'm also looking for a beta, so... If anyone would like to help me out, I'd be extremely grateful. =)

**Disclaimer:** As you probably already know, I don't own anything apart from one character in this. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

><p>I don't know who said that high school can either make you or break you, but certainly it was someone who belonged to the lowest steps of the high school hierarchy.<p>

The way I see it, you choose if you want to be a winner or a loser and I decided that someone like me could only belong with the winners.

Of course, to be always on top, there are some things that must be kept secret and even I have my share of those. My life as I know it would be totally ruined if some of them ever came out into the daylight.

But I'm very good at keeping secrets. Well, at least I'm good at keeping mine.

As I'm walking down the hallways of the school, I see my best friend waving at me with a big smile on her face.

We were friends since childhood and I promised to myself I'd never push her aside like many others did before.

I wish I could say we both belong to the popular group in this school, but alas the truth isn't as bright as the slush that has just been thrown at her face after a muttered "gleeks are all creeps".

I look down and take a deep breath before approaching her and offering her a handkerchief.

"I'm really sorry, Mercedes. I'd already told them to leave you alone."

She smiles slightly as she wipes her face clean.

"It's not your fault. And even if you told them to go away and not mess with me anymore, they would only come back as soon as you turned around, so it doesn't really make that much of a difference, sweetie."

I feel a pain in my chest, knowing I'm the popular guy who gets away with it, even though they don't know the real me behind all this façade, and people like her, who are so true to themselves and to everybody else around them, get treated this way.

"You know I'd hug you right now, if it wasn't for the clothes I'm wearing."

She picks her school bag and throws the dirty handkerchief in a plastic bag.

"Don't worry," she tells me. "I always come prepared with some spare clothes."

I take her hand and look in her eyes to make sure she understands I'm being serious.

"It shouldn't be this way."

She smiles sadly at me and my heart drops even closer to my stomach.

"It's the way the world works. We just get used to it." She pauses to caress my cheek and pat my arm before finishing. "I need to go get changed now. I'll see you later, sweetie. Oh, and your girlfriend is waiting."

I turn to see Tina waving at me, a huge smile adorning her face and a small blush taking over her cheeks.

The sight always makes me smile back.

Some would ask why I'm dating someone from the lowest category in the high school chain. If they knew how beautiful these people are inside, they'd understand. But then again, they needed to be able to appreciate such things. Most people can't look past the exterior and that's why I refuse to leave this mask, this made up persona behind.

You should probably know that I'm a bit of a coward. I stand up to people, don't get me wrong. I do my best to keep these people from getting even more humiliated in front of all the other students, either the most popular or just the ordinary. That's not it at all. I'm a coward because I could never take that next step and indulge in something like the Glee club, even though I love music. Not after taking my time to deny every presumption about me and build up someone people would respect and not make fun of.

Besides, my dad is proud of me and the fact that I made our school's football team win once, even if that was the last time I played. That was a big step for me getting respect and popularity. But I'm glad my dad was okay with me not finding it to be the right sport for me. Maybe swimming will be it, who knows?

So now I'm walking towards my beautiful Asian girlfriend. I give her a kiss, while my arms embrace her waist and I pick her up for a few seconds, spinning her slightly in the air while she tries not to break our kiss with her giggling. She loves it when I do this. And I love that I can make her happy; that I can make _someone _happy.

I put her down and she beams at me before looking past my shoulder at Mercedes' retrieving form behind the girl's bathroom door.

"Another slushy?"

I sigh and nod.

"Why do people have to be like this?" I ask, not really looking for an answer.

She shrugs, her fingertips playing absentmindedly with the short hairs in the back of my neck.

"We live in a world where some of the humans' behaviors are way worse than those of some wild animals."

She disentangles herself from me and opens her locker, picking up a few books. I take them from her arms before we walk away towards the classroom, for the only class we'll have together today.

"You know you don't need to do that all the time."

I smile.

"But I want to. Is that okay?"

She smiles and grabs my hand, flushing slightly before nodding shyly and I can't resist dropping a kiss on her cheek before we find our seats and wait for the teacher to start the first class of the day.

After a couple more classes, I meet Mercedes and her Glee friends for lunch. They have something to celebrate, or so Tina tells me, so we're going out to lunch today.

I know some of them. I don't remember all their names, because we don't hang out all that much. See high school hierarchy above for motive. Still, from what Tina and Mercedes tell me, I think I manage just fine. Besides, there are three girls from the Cheerios and two boys from the football team, one of which is Finn.

So here's the thing with Finn: I can't help but shiver slightly every time he walks past me. I can't explain why – and I don't even want to – but it's something that happens and I just can't control it. I'm glad it never happened in Tina's presence, but it did happen once when I was with Mercedes, before Tina and I became a couple.

* * *

><p><em>We're walking down the hallway, talking about some weird reality TV show that aired yesterday. She grabs my arm as she laughs loudly telling me about it. She feels free when she's with me, because she knows they won't lay a finger on her because I'm nearby.<em>

"_And then this woman starts yelling at this guy and…"_

_I sort of zone out right then, because I see Finn walking in the opposite direction and I just know we're gonna cross paths._

_When he approaches us, he acknowledges me with a slight nod and a small smile, before I feel his arm brushing innocently against mine._

_The air shifts and I feel his scent fill my nostrils for a second, before something inside me clicks and I feel all the hairs in my body stand, like an electric current had just spread itself across my whole body._

_I shiver from it, closing my eyes momentarily before opening them and realize I'd stopped. And so did Mercedes. She's gripping my arm now._

"_Are you okay? Are you cold or something? You shook like an earthquake for like two seconds."_

_My eyes widen at the realization that she'd seen and felt all that._

_She looks back at Finn before turning to me again._

"_Was… I mean, was it because…"_

"_No. It was just a chilly breeze, that's all," I cut her off, before she finishes whatever she was going to say that would sure destroy everything I've been building until now._

_She frowns before placing her hand in my arm and moving us again._

"_So, as I was saying, this guy went into the room…" she proceeded to talk about the TV show, but I know she was not convinced with my answer. She chose to leave it alone for now, but I know she'll bring it up sometime in the future._

* * *

><p>To this day, I can still feel her questioning look every time Finn greets me and she's present or every time someone mentions him and I feel myself growing quiet and looking down, avoiding any conversation about him. Not when Mercedes can look right through me.<p>

So, really, it shouldn't come as a surprise when his fingers accidently touch mine when he's passing me the menu to choose from. I can't help the small jolt as that same electric-like feeling runs up my arm.

The menu drops on the table and so do all the other conversations. I feel all these people's curious gazes on me. It's overwhelming and I feel my stomach clench, an unease already settling. I know this is fear in its pure form. I stand abruptly, the screeching of the chair bringing yet more gazes upon me.

"I forgot to do something. I'll be right back. Please don't wait for me to order. I'll order something when I get back. Sorry."

I manage not to break into a run out of the restaurant. That would only make things worse.

When the first gulps of air reach my lungs, I feel myself relaxing, even if just a little. I need to get a grip on myself. This is the one thing I need to control the most; the one thing that could ruin me forever.

I take another breath, my hand clenching my shirt as if to reassure my own stomach that everything would be fine.

"You don't need to lie to me, you know?"

I jump and my hand leaves my shirt to take place at my chest, feeling my heart almost ready to leave my body.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you," she says when I turn to look at her.

"Maybe you meant to kill me right away. Damn, woman!" I try to joke, but her expression doesn't change.

"Please don't close up on me. I'm your best friend. I deserve more than you running away from me. Tell me the truth. I know something happened there. I know something always happens when he's around. Did he do something to you back when you were part of the football team? Because if he did, you know I…"

"No, Mercedes. It's not that. He didn't do anything to me."

She looks helpless.

"Then what is it? It must be something. If it was nothing, you wouldn't react the way you always do."

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I should know better than to think I'd get away with it forever. I sigh and my shoulders drop.

She walks closer and grabs both my arms. She's looking pleadingly at me when I open my eyes to finally face her.

"I..." I gulp. "This is difficult for me."

She nods and her hands rub my arms slowly.

"I can wait all the time you need, sweetie."

"This is very personal. I haven't shared this with anyone. I'm still having some trouble wrapping my head around it, to be honest," I confess.

"This is serious, then."

I nod. She grips my arms a bit tighter.

"Honey, you can trust me. I'll be here for you, no matter what."

"I know, Mercedes. You have no idea how grateful I am to have you in my life."

She smiles and I take another deep breath, urging the tears clouding my vision to go away.

"I'm… attracted to Finn."

Her eyebrows rise.

"Attracted like…"

"Yes. I don't know what it means. All I know is that I feel this electric current run up and down my body for a couple of seconds every time he touches me, be it intentional or unintentional."

She nods and then frowns.

"What about Tina?"

I shake my head. I've thought about it many times.

"When I'm with Tina, all that I feel happens in here," I say, placing my hand on my chest, above my heart. Mercedes smiles and takes my hand in her.

"So you really like her."

"I like her; that much is true. I like how happy she is when she's with me. I like that I make her happy."

She tilts her head slightly to the side.

"Does she make_ you_ happy?"

And that burning feeling is back on my throat. I'm not ready to analyze that yet. I'm afraid of what I'll find out.

I know she makes me happy, because my happiness comes from her happiness, so as long as she's happy, I'll be too. The question I always turn away from is if she makes me happy enough. Is there anyone that could make me feel more? Something like that warm fuzzy feeling I get with Tina and that electric attraction I feel with Finn. Or can I only have one of those?

Mercedes' hold on my hand tightens slightly and I realize she's still waiting for an answer.

I open my mouth to answer. What I was going to say, I have no idea. I just know I was going to say something, but Tina chooses that moment to come outside and call for us.

"Hey, guys! They already ordered. You should come back inside."

I wipe my eyes quickly so she won't notice. Mercedes gives me a sad smile, before patting my arm and turning.

"We're coming, dear!"

We go back inside and for all the others it's like nothing happened. They're all once again deep into their conversations.

But Mercedes and I know better. And I'm sure this wasn't the end of it. I left a question unanswered and she's going to be coming back to get her answer, I'm sure. Our eyes meet once more when the food arrives and when she winks at me, I know she'll be by my side no matter what.

* * *

><p>I arrive at school, early as always. There's some buzz going on. I can only hear bits and pieces. They're talking about someone. That's as far as I get.<p>

"Hey!"

I turn.

"Oh, hi, Mercedes!"

We hug and she smiles again.

"Did you hear the news?"

"Well, I heard something. Bits and pieces that don't really make much sense together."

"Someone transferred here. A new guy, I hear."

I frown. That doesn't even make sense.

"Why would someone want to transfer here? I'd think someone would want to transfer _out_ of here instead of trying to get _into_ this place."

"I know! That's why there's all this talk around. Maybe the guy has no other place to go? Maybe he doesn't really know how McKinley works or something?"

"Friend, this school is so bad everyone living in a 90 miles radius knows about it. There has to be another reason. But you know what? I'm not even going to be joining the gossip club today."

Her jaw drops in shock.

"What? Why? How can you leave me to speculate alone? I need your fantastic brain to come up with the worst case scenario!"

I roll my eyes at that.

"Oh, please, Mercedes. You just want me to light up that candle of hope that someone will come in here and save your infamous glee club."

We reach our lockers.

"Speaking of which, I still don't know why you haven't auditioned for it."

I open the door to my locker so I won't have to look at her while I roll my eyes again and sigh. I need to get my chemistry book, now where is it?

The door closes and I barely have time to take my hand from harm's way. I'm pretty sure I just yelped.

"Mercedes!"

"What? You have an amazing voice. I've heard you sing before. You try to hide it from people, but I know it. You'd be a fantastic addition to our club. We'd finally have someone to tame Rachel. You could diva-out or something. Oh, man, that'd be awesome! Why haven't I thought of it before?"

"You're crazy, Mercedes," I say, opening the door again and – oh! There's the book I was looking for!

"I'm not! You'd do wonders for us."

I could sense a headache coming already.

"We've talked about this, 'cedes."

"And I won't take no for an answer," she says, full of attitude, her hands on her hips. Yeah, like that would make me change my mind.

"Then I'll give you my golden silence, because you won't get a yes either."

I close my locker and walk away, waving at her pouting face.

* * *

><p>For some reason I can't concentrate in class today. It's a good thing I'm well into the subject; otherwise I'd get in trouble later. I think I could actually manage to answer right if the teacher asked something.<p>

He doesn't, though, and I'm left to look outside at the trees and some students chatting away.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pick it up carefully so the teacher won't notice.

'_What's up, white boy?'_

I look back and find Mercedes looking at me with a questioning expression on her face.

I turn back and sigh before composing a reply.

'_I don't know. Just not feeling very chipper today, I guess.'_

'_Something wrong?'_

'_Not really. I think I need some alone time.'_

'_Do you want me to talk to Tina?'_

I smile sadly. I look back at her and when she meets my eyes, I shake my head in response.

'_Okay. But you'll let me know if you need something, right?'_

'_Sure.'_

* * *

><p>I'm now waiting by Tina's classroom door, waiting for her to leave the room. As always, she beams when she sees me. I feel that warm tingling feeling around my heart again. I can't help but smile.<p>

She throws her arms around my neck and kisses me tenderly. I melt into the kiss and pull her close, inhaling her sweet scent before breaking the kiss.

"What's up? We usually meet outside."

I look down at our now joined hands.

"I know. I wanted some time alone today, if you don't mind."

One of her hands leaves mine and pulls my chin upwards a little so I can't help but look into her eyes.

"Is everything okay with us?"

I smile and kiss her again.

"We're more than okay. I just need some time to deal with some stuff. Don't worry."

"You'll let me know if something's wrong with us, right?"

I nod.

"Sure, dear. Don't worry, really. We're fine."

A couple of seconds is all it takes before a smile blossoms on her face.

"Okay. You'll call me later, right?"

"I will. As always."

We kiss again, this time a longer kiss before we part our ways.

I leave the school parking lot, trying not to let the absence of those shivers running down my spine get in the way of my loving relationship with this beautiful girl I like to call my girlfriend.

* * *

><p>I take the key from the ignition and pick up my satchel from the passenger seat before leaving and locking the car.<p>

When I close the front door, I hear my dad call me.

"Yes, dad?"

"Can you come here for a second? We're in the kitchen."

_We_? Color me confused!

I make my way to the kitchen, my curiosity taking the best of me. When I enter the room, my eyes lock with Mrs. Hudson's.

What is Finn's mother doing here?

"Hi," I say, waving awkwardly.

"Hello," she says, smiling slightly.

"We wanted to talk to you."

"Okay… Is there something wrong? Am I in trouble for anything?" I ask, clearly confused by the whole situation.

"Oh, no. No. You did nothing wrong, dear," she reassures me.

Okay. Now I'm even more confused. If I did nothing wrong, what could they possibly want from me? My father starts talking again.

"We were waiting until we were sure to tell you about this."

He pauses and they exchange a look. I frown. Then, after a second of hesitation, he takes her hand and they both smile.

_Oh._

"We are dating, Kurt. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks now. For both your and Finn's sakes, we decided to wait until we were absolutely sure about this relationship before we came clean about it."

He takes a deep breath and at this moment I realize that I can feel my nails digging in the palm of my hand, around the satchel's strap, and will myself to relax before they can sense my nervousness.

"Are you okay, Kurt?"

Ah, too late. Mrs. Hudson noticed already.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." I smile.

"Are you sure? Because, if this bothers you…" my dad starts and I feel bad for making him think I find any problem with him finding someone to love after… well.

"No. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm genuinely happy for you both." I really am. It's just… "Does Finn know about this?"

"I'm going to tell him later, when he gets home," his mother tells me.

I nod.

"Kurt, I wanted to ask you something."

His tone is serious and I find my grip on the strap doubling in strength for a couple of seconds.

"Since we're both living only with our respective sons, we're thinking about the possibility of us moving in together."

Wow. This really is serious. I gulp.

"Would you be okay with that? I wouldn't want to impose on you," Mrs. Hudson intervenes.

I shake my head.

"No. I… I'm happy as long as you're happy. I don't want to get in the way of that. I just need some time to get used to the idea."

They nod and my father smiles, apparently satisfied enough with my answer, for now.

"If… When we do this, where would Finn stay?"

They look at each other for a moment, as if they were having a conversation with their eyes. Clearly they hadn't thought this far and were now deciding things. Finally, my father addresses me again.

"You would probably share the room until we could find a better option. I think you could both manage. I mean, your room is big enough for you two."

I think the blood in my face suddenly vanished.

"Oh," is all I say without falling apart at the thought.

"It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, you know?"

Somehow I feel that was supposed to be more reassuring than it actually is. I pretend it worked, though.

"Yeah, sure. No problem. Can I go now? I'm a bit tired and I still need to finish some things."

"Yeah. Go ahead. We can talk more about it later."

"Excuse me," I say, forcing a smile to try and match theirs before turning around.

I hope they'll believe the reason my smile isn't so bright is because of my tiredness and not me trying to hide my shock and fear of what sharing a room with Finn will do to my sanity.

As I walk down the stairs to my room, I can barely control the thoughts running through my mind. There are happy thoughts, scared thoughts and there's the occasional "OMG! Finn is going to be sharing a room with me!" kind of thought.

And what scares me the most is that I'm not sure if those last ones fall into the "happy" or "scary" category.

* * *

><p>Showers can be relaxing, yes. It calms your body. At least it works for me. Feeling the warm water fall on my back and make its way down my legs and feet before disappearing through the drain.<p>

What I came to find is that it does nothing to calm any thoughts you might be having about the person you feel attracted to.

I'm now sitting on my bed, already wearing my pajamas and ready to fall asleep and these thoughts are still clouding my mind.

I'm startled by the vibration of my mobile phone on my nightstand.

'_Are you feeling any better, white boy? Xx'_

I don't know how she does it. She must have some sort of telepathic power. She always makes me smile when I need to.

The fact that we both know each other so well – and also because she's the only person I talked with about this – makes me sigh before replying with honesty.

'_To be honest, I'm not sure. My dad is dating Finn's mom. There's a chance they'll come live with us.'_

I stare at the text, my finger hovering over the button that will take this to my best friend. I press it and wait for a response.

It arrives a couple of minutes later.

'_Oh boy. That's some crazy twist! Whatcha gonna do?'_

I sit on my bed, with my back against the headboard. I quickly type:

'_There's not much I can do. My dad is happy and that's all I care about at the moment. They want me and Finn to share a room, though.'_

This time the message arrives sooner.

'_OMG! I think some sort of special force is putting you to test, my friend!'_

The back of my head hits the headboard as I close my eyes for a few seconds.

I take a deep breath and exhale.

I open my eyes and come up with a reply that will sum up whatever I'm feeling and what little I can make of all the thoughts running though my head at the moment.

'_I'm scared of what I might feel or do around him. I'm mostly afraid of what it all means, Mercedes.'_

My chest tightens at the possibility of me having to reevaluate some aspects of my life.

It's not like the idea never crossed my mind. But that part of me was buried deep a lot time ago and I feel like someone's making me dig it all out again. And it scares me that once it's out in the open, it'll try and take over my life and I worked way too hard to be who I am at the moment to let it all go to waste because I can't control myself around my possible-future-stepbrother.

The phone vibrates.

'_No matter what happens, I'll be here for you, Kurt. You should probably get some rest now. See ya tomorrow, dear! Xxx'_

Another smile stolen.

Somehow I feel like part of the weight I felt on my chest and keeping me from breathing right has been lifted. Mercedes will be there for me, I can feel it. That's all that matters now. I type my last message of the night.

'_Thank you. And never forget: I'll love you 'till the end of times.'_

I get up and pull back the covers of my bed before getting in it.

I turn off the lamp and let my head hit the pillow, hoping its softness will silence the madness that's taking over my brain.

The second to last thought crossing my mind is that I didn't call Tina as I promised I would.

The last thought? I didn't really feel like it and _that _made me worry.

* * *

><p>I'm almost reaching my locker when a familiar voice reaches my ears, calling my name.<p>

"Kurt! Hey, dude, wait up!"

He runs up to me and pats my arm.

3, 2, 1… Yup. There it is. Shivers all over.

After a moment, I can get them under control. Finn doesn't seem to have noticed it.

"Yes?"

"Our parents are dating! How cool is that?"

I smile. A semi-faked smile.

"It's awesome. I'm glad they're happy with each other."

At least that last part was genuine.

"I know, right? And we might even end up living together! We'd be bros for real, dude!"

It should be illegal for him to be so excited about this when I'm trying my hardest to keep my reactions neutral and not give away what's troubling me.

"We could discuss the football games! Maybe you'll help me figure out a way to win this year," he continues. "Hey, maybe I can convince you to get back on the team."

He smiles and I can't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, the only way you could win again is if you can find someone as good as I was to take the kicker position. And you know there's a reason for me to have left the team, right? I wasn't born to be a high school football player."

"Why not, dude? You were awesome at it. You're the reason we won! You're a mean kicker!"

I smile at the compliment.

"Thanks, Finn, but have you looked at me? I mean, _really_ looked? I was **not **born to play football."

As I say this, I point down at my body and, seriously, I cannot put into words the things I can feel running through it as Finn takes his time to look at me from head to toe.

I feel my body start to heat up and I can also feel myself blush slightly. I need to catch some air. Some fresh, pure air, away from Finn's masculine scent.

Fortunately for me, it seems like he's in a bit of a rush himself. He shrugs before his eyes meet mine again.

"Whatever, dude. It's your choice. I'm not going to force you or whatever. I gotta go, but maybe we'll see each other soon, now that we know our parents are dating and all that. See you around, bro!"

He leaves and I let out a long breath before my breathing as well as the beating of my heart return to normal.

"Well, that was intense."

I jump and turn, my hand on my chest, feeling my heart racing again.

"Damn it, Mercedes! You need to stop doing that!"

She laughs. At me. How is it fair?

"Sugar, it wouldn't be funny otherwise. Besides, even from far away I could see the sparkles leaving your poor stressed lithe body."

My eyes widen and I freeze. Before I can voice the question that just popped up in my head, she interrupts me.

"Ah, don't worry. I only saw it because I know it's happening. I wouldn't notice otherwise."

The muscles in my back relax slowly.

"So, have you seen the new guy already?" she asks, changing the conversation topic as if we weren't just talking about something that's been messing with my head really bad recently.

"Again with the new guy talk, Mercedes?"

She shrugs.

"What? Not going to comment again?"

"I'll pass. When I see him, I'll tell you. We'll discuss it then."

Her jaw drops mockingly.

"Not even a little speculation with me on what he might look like and what he'll do to be popular at any cost?"

She wouldn't know. Not really. The truth is that I used to be that guy striving for perfection in any and every way, swallowing down my pride and all those things about me that would surely get me kicked out from my high pedestal of popularity.

The thing she knows about Finn? Only the tip of the iceberg. And that's why her words hit a little too close to home.

"Maybe we'll get a humble one this time. After all, he did choose McKinley over all those other – and better – schools around here."

She adopts a pensive expression.

"You're right. Hadn't thought of it that way. See? This is why I need you to speculate with me. You think outside the box!"

'_Only because I know the box so well,' _is the thought crossing my mind. I do not voice it, though.

"Kurt?"

I turn and… oh, no. I forgot about Tina last night after acting all weird around her.

Damn.

"Aaaaaand that's my cue to go. See you later, white boy!"

Mercedes vanishes before I can come up with a good answer. I concentrate on my girlfriend, for this is what I need to fix now.

She isn't beaming as always and that worries me. I approach her carefully.

"Hey," I say softly.

She doesn't even crack a smile, but she walks up to me and wraps her arms around me.

"Tell me what I did wrong, please."

I pull back and caress her face lovingly.

"Hey, you did nothing wrong. It's… there's a lot going through my head right now."

Wow. Understatement of the year!

"But," I say before she gets the wrong idea, "I'm not rethinking our relationship or anything like that."

She still doesn't seem too sure about what I'm saying. I sigh.

"Okay. My dad told me he's been dating Finn's mom for a while now and they're talking about moving in."

Her eyebrows rise.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"That's big," she says.

"It is," I agree. "I'm happy for them, really. But… I don't know. It feels like too much too soon, you know? They just told me they've been seeing each other for a while and all of a sudden they're talking about moving in together and becoming a big happy family."

She's rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"Have you told that to your dad?"

I shake my head. Why would I? He'd probably get the wrong idea and I don't want him to hold back on what he's feeling for someone because of me. I don't want to be an obstacle on his way to finding happiness again.

She smiles sadly at me as if she's reading my thoughts. For a moment I wonder if I said it out loud.

"I think you should talk to him, Kurt. Explain your motives so he'll understand you don't need him to stop being with someone who makes him happy; you just need some more time to come to terms with it."

I look down. She's right, of course, but I don't know if it'll work all that well, to be honest.

I smile and give her a nod as if telling her I'm going to do as she told me to. She drops the subject and holds my hand as we walk down the hallway together.

I'm still not sure, though.

* * *

><p>When I get home, my dad has just arrived from his shop.<p>

"Hey," I say when I see him making his way to the living room. I follow.

"Hi there, son! How was your day?"

I take a deep breath. Here we go.

"Could have been better."

He frowns as I predicted he would.

"Something wrong?"

I shake my head.

"Just a lot on my mind."

He turns to me. "Listen, son, if this is about me and…"

I cut him off before he can say anything else.

"I want them to come live with us."

What the hell, Hummel? What. The. Hell.

I stand there, blinking and frowning the second after the words leave my mouth. I think I just managed to stun us both into silence.

Where the hell did that come from? Wasn't I supposed to talk to him about my insecurities?

"Are… Are you sure?"

I gulp.

There's a hint of suppressed happiness behind his eyes, like he's waiting for confirmation before he allows himself to break into a big happy smile. That's the moment I know I can't just tell him I jumped the gun there. He'd be disappointed, I'm sure. So, instead, I take a deep breath and hope my voice won't quiver as much as my insides seem to be doing at the prospect of this turning very much real the moment I give my final answer.

"Yes."

And yes, he does smile. And to see him smile like that makes me smile. And soon enough I have two arms wrapped around me in a tight hug.

"I'm glad," he tells me. "I mean, if you weren't okay with it, I wouldn't be mad or anything. But the fact that you are okay with it, makes me happy."

"And I want you to be happy."

His smile gets a bit smaller.

"But that's not everything, is it?"

I turn to look away. He seems to have gotten his answer from that reaction.

He steps back until he's leaning against the back of the couch and crosses his arms.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I nod. In that moment I feel my heart start to beat faster and that nervous feeling running through my veins.

"I have something to tell you that I probably should've told you sooner."

His head tilts slightly.

"Okay. Is it about school?"

"No, not that. I'm an excellent student, you know that."

He smirks slightly, but lets it go unmentioned.

"Then what is it?"

"It's… it's about me."

The look of confusion mixed with curiosity in his face is unmistakable. Suddenly I feel scared. It's silly, because I know my dad loves me no matter what, but I can't help but feel that once I open this door to the past, things will change. I guess deep down I knew this day would come; I just didn't know it'd be today.

"Okay. Okay." I start walking back and forth in front of him. He waits like the good patient father he is.

"So, you know how Tina and I are dating," I try again.

"Is this because you two want to take that next step in your relationship? I mean, if you need me to explain anything…"

"No, no. God, no. That's not it at all," I interrupt him before he fills my head with mental images that in the middle of such a serious conversation… just… no.

"It's… a bit more serious than that."

"Oh. Did you two already… Wait, is she pregnant?"

I'm pretty sure my face can't get any redder. This conversation is taking such a left turn; I need to stop it before it gets off hand.

"No. We haven't gotten there yet. So, no, she's not. Dad, can you just let me talk and not jump to conclusions before I'm done?"

"Okay. No more talking until you say so."

"Good. So, you know we're dating and we like each other. I just want to make that clear before I continue."

Now comes the worst part.

"I like girls. Otherwise I wouldn't be with Tina, I guess. She's a girl, so… yeah. The thing is," I stop and look at my fidgety fingers. "I think I kind of feel attracted to boys as well."

He looks momentarily shocked, but he's silent, as promised.

"I should've told you sooner. I guess I tried to hide it, somehow. Something happened a while ago, before I'd even met Tina."

And this is how it happened, even though when telling this story to my dad, I'll leave a few parts out.

* * *

><p><em>My dad and I went to the supermarket that afternoon. We were getting a little low on the essentials. We sometimes went to this supermarket – which was on the way to Delphos – because they had some cheaper things.<em>

_After getting all the things we needed, we pushed our shopping cart towards one of the check-out counters._

_The cashier was a young man, around my age, a bit taller and way cute._

* * *

><p>"Was it that blonde guy we used to find many times working there when we'd go shopping?"<p>

"Yes. That's the one."

* * *

><p><em>It wasn't the first time we saw each other. He'd always smile at me, but I'd always figure he was just being a nice and polite worker, so I didn't really pay much attention to it.<em>

_Until, one day, when my dad was looking the other way, he winked at me._

_No way I could mistake that._

* * *

><p>"He did what?"<p>

"Dad…"

"He… he…"

"Relax. I'm not done yet. That's not the worst of it."

"It's not the— Oh God."

* * *

><p><em>So after getting all the bags into the car, I volunteered to put the cart away while my dad got into the car.<em>

_After putting it away, I looked back inside the store and bit my lip._

'_Oh, to hell with it,' I thought._

_I ran back inside and found him rather quickly._

_He looked up in surprise when I ran up to him. The people waiting also looked up, confused._

_I grabbed a pen he had nearby and grabbed one of his hands._

_I was shaking as I wrote down my cellphone number. I handed the pen back once I was done and I was rewarded with a giant smile from him and disapproving looks from the people around us._

_Running back outside, I looked back once again to see him still smiling, even though the woman paying her things was silently judging him._

_Later that night I received his first text. He told me his name was Brian and that he attended a school nearby._

_We met a few times on our way back from our respective schools. He was a nice and funny guy._

_He asked me to meet him at the supermarket, once, after his shift was over. It was a bit late, but my dad was watching a game with some friends and I told him I'd sleepover, so I wouldn't be alone at home. He seemed to be satisfied with it._

* * *

><p>"Wait, you weren't over Mercedes that night?"<p>

"I was. I just got there a bit later. Shall I continue?"

"Sure, go ahead, but we'll talk about this later, just so you know."

"Whatever you say, dad."

* * *

><p><em>I saw him walk out, buttoning his jacket, before he looked up and his face broke into a smile once he saw me.<em>

"_You came."_

"_You asked me to."_

_He grabbed my hand and I blushed slightly, looking at him questioningly before sweeping my eyes across the parking lot, trying to send him the clear message that anyone could be looking at us at that moment._

_He just gripped my hand tighter before pulling me into a dark and wide alley on the side of the supermarket. It was empty aside from the workers' cars._

_When we got near the end of it, he pulled at my hand, making me turn to him before I felt the wall of the shopping building behind me and his lips on mine._

* * *

><p>"He just kissed you like that?"<p>

I roll my eyes.

"It's okay, dad. I really wanted him to."

"Oh."

I didn't elaborate more because I knew it'd be a bit too much for my dad. And I really didn't want to get into much detail with my dad about how this guy and I made out against a cold wall, but I couldn't stop the memories flooding my mind for a few seconds longer.

* * *

><p><em>His hands took place on my hips and my arms wrapped around his neck, tilting his head down a bit.<em>

_He hummed into my mouth as my fingers thread through his golden hair and his body fell a lot closer to mine as the kiss deepened._

_When my hand ran through the soft skin of his jaw and took place at his cheek, I felt a small moan leave my throat and his tongue was quickly battling mine._

_One of his hands slid down from its place at my hip and grabbed the back of my thigh, lifting it to rest against his waist._

_He stepped closer and … oh. That was something new._

_I felt a shiver run down my spine as he jerked forward when I bit his lower lip._

_He stopped, one hand __holding__ gripping my thigh while I could feel his fingertips digging into the skin near my hipbone. Putting some space between us, he let my leg down slowly while I let my arms unwrap themselves from around his neck, placing my hands on his broad shoulders._

_We were both breathing hard, but we also had matching grins._

_One of his hands caressed my cheek before both of them left my body completely, my arms dropping to my side as well._

"_Well. That was intense."_

"_You think?" I asked, mockingly and he laughed._

_I felt giddy and my lips were still tingling._

"_I want to take you out on Friday. Is that okay with you?"_

"_Are you asking me out on a date?"_

"_Only if your answer is yes," he smiled again._

_I blushed._

"_I think I wouldn't mind having company. What did you have in mind?"_

_His fingers find mine again and I feel sparkles._

"_Dinner and a movie?"_

_I shrugged as my fingers unconsciously played with his._

"_Could work."_

"_I'm glad."_

_He kissed me again, this time less passionately and bit more tenderly._

_I lost myself in his kiss for a moment before pulling back._

"_I have to go back before my friend gets worried and calls my dad."_

"_Sure. Meet you here Friday night?"_

_I nodded and pecked his lips one last time. When I pulled back I bit my lip to keep me from smiling way too hard and make a fool of myself._

_I walked away and our fingers parted. He smiled again before walking back to his car, parked there, with a new spring in his step._

_It doesn't take long before I realize my step is also lighter this time._

* * *

><p>"So what happened after that? I mean, you're with Tina now."<p>

I look down and I can feel tears start to prickle at my eyes.

* * *

><p><em>I was so excited that Friday, I couldn't even contain my smiles.<em>

_This led to a few lies in order to not blow my cover._

_When I reached the supermarket, he wasn't there at his usual cashbox._

_I waited outside for about 20 minutes, before one of his colleagues left the automatic doors of the building._

"_Excuse me," I called._

"_Yes?"_

"_Uh. Is Brian around?"_

_The look on her face changed._

"_Oh, haven't you heard? He's in the hospital."_

_My heart skipped a beat._

"_What?"_

"_He got beaten up yesterday. I hear he's in a pretty bad shape."_

_My eyes welled up._

"_Were you a friend of his?" I nodded. "I'm really sorry," she added._

"_It's okay. Do you know where I can find him?"_

_The next day I was at the hospital, near his bed._

_My hand was in his when he woke up and looked at me._

_His eyes brightened and he smiled slightly._

_A sob tore through my body and the tears fell unintentionally._

"_Oh, hey, don't cry. It's gonna be okay."_

_One side of his face was still swollen and his eye black._

* * *

><p>"What happened to him?" my dad asks, his voice low and soft.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>What happened to you?"<em>

_He shook his head._

"_Some guys at my school aren't very keen on me dating other boys. One of them must have seen us or something."_

_My eyes widened and I took a step back, my hand leaving his._

"_Kurt?"_

_I could feel myself start to panic. Reality set in. If we kept on going with this, we could both end up dead._

"_I can't do this."_

_I took another step back. His expression changed; it turned into hurt and betrayal._

"_Don't do this, Kurt. Please."_

_I shook my head furiously._

"_I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."_

_Tears dropped from his eyes._

"_No. No, don't go. Kurt. Kurt!"_

_But I was already running down the hall. Every time his voice called my name, laced with hurt, I could feel my heart shrink in pain, as I swore to hide this side of me so no one would ever know._

_So no one would see how much of a coward I was._

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

"I…"

"Hey, come here, buddy."

He pulls me into his arms and hugs me, as if protecting me from the world.

I grip his shirt in both my fists as I let my tears fall and the sobs leave my chest.

Finally I let go of my repressed emotions, as my dad walks us around the couch, so we can sit on it.

Emotionally drained, a few minutes later I fall asleep in his arms, feeling his chest rise and fall as part of my heart, the one I'd denied for so long, shatters once again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. I have a few things already planned for the next 2 chapters but I'm open for suggestions as to what to do next. I also feel like I didn't do Kurt and Burt's relationship any justice but I think it's so awesome and unique that I can't really measure up to it in my fic. Sorry about that. Anyway, I got myself a tumblr so if you have any suggestions/questions or if you want to help me out and beta this for me, you can go there and drop me a line. The link to it is in my profile.  
>Let me know what you think so far!<p>

P.S. If you're wondering about Blaine, he'll be around. Just not right now. Probably not in the next chapter either, but soon, I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hey! So I wanted to thank everyone who's been reading, reviewing and adding to the alerts. I hope I won't disappoint you! This one is shorter, so for those thinking the first chapter was too long, this one won't have as much to read. xD I want to thank my friend Kerry for helping me out with the last Kurt/Burt scene here. Well, here's the next part. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Hey, son!"<p>

"Morning, dad," I answer as I walk into the kitchen.

"So, uh, are you… feeling better?"

I suppress a deep sigh.

"Yes. Thank you. I… I hadn't thought about that in a while, so it was difficult but in the end I think it actually did me some good."

He grabs my hand as I walk past him. I stop and look at him.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I'll love and support you no matter what happens. Don't forget that."

I smile.

"I won't. Thanks, dad," I lean down to hug him briefly.

"I wanted to tell you something yesterday."

I sit down in the chair opposite him.

"Yes? What was it?"

"Carole and I talked about her moving in after you told me you were okay with it."

Oh.

"Okay…"

"You are, right? You're not changing your mind or anything, because if you are…"

I stop him.

"I didn't change my mind, dad. Don't worry. Go on. What did you decide, then?"

"She's going to talk to Finn and if he's okay with it, they'll be moving in here this weekend."

Today's… Thursday, right.

"You want me to start making room for Finn?"

"If you want. He can help you when they get here."

"Sure. I'll leave the heavy stuff for when they get here. So when will you know Finn's answer?"

He shrugs.

"Probably later today."

I nod.

"Okay, then. Let me know when I get home if I need to start moving my things."

"Of course," he says as he gets up. "I'm going to the shop now. Have a great day at school!"

He kisses my forehead before leaving me to finish my breakfast.

* * *

><p>As I take my history book from my locker, I hear a familiar voice in the distance and feel the hairs in the back of my neck stand.<p>

Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

"Hey, dude!"

"Finn, please don't refer to me as "dude". It's mildly insulting to me. I have a name, you know?"

He grins at me.

"Sure. I know your name, Kurt."

Okay, so maybe getting him to say my name wasn't that much better.

"But I can just switch dude with bro, because we're almost brothers now."

I frown.

"What do you mean?"

"Wait. Your dad didn't tell you? Me and my mom are moving in! Isn't that awesome?"

I roll my eyes.

"It's fantastic, Finn," and there goes my first sarcastic line of the day. It's okay. Finn's brain doesn't register sarcasm.

"I know! It'll be really cool, du- …uh, bro!"

He grins again and I can't help but chuckle in response.

"So you're okay with us sharing the bedroom?"

"Sure. I'll help you move the furniture, if you want."

"Yes, thanks."

"Yeah. I have to go now. So, I'll see you later, bro!"

He walks away and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment, encouraging my brain to stop making me act this way around him. I let my body collapse against the lockers.

"So, I think I saw him yesterday."

My eyes open and I stare at Mercedes. I sigh as I realize what she's talking about.

"Seriously, Mercedes, I have no interest whatsoever in figuring out who this new guy is right now."

She frowns.

"I see it's still not gossip day on your calendar. What's up with the funky mood?"

I turn and lock my locker before walking down the hall, Mercedes already beside me.

"I sort of told my dad it was okay for Finn and his mom to move in with us, even though I'm still not 100% sure this is the best idea."

She looks a bit concerned now.

"Then why did you say it?"

"I honestly don't know. I just did and… I couldn't take it back. Part of me didn't want to take it back either. Also, it's already a bit too late for that."

"What do you mean?"

"They'll be moving in this weekend. It doesn't matter now. I want my dad happy. If that means suffering a little until I get used to it, then that's what I'll do."

She grins before she turns me around and pulls me in a tight hug, almost squeezing the life out of me.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetie! I'm glad you made the right decision." Her voice drops to a whisper. "And don't worry about the Finn situation. You'll be fine and I'll be around if you ever need my help with anything, you know that."

I smile at her, even though that's the last thing I feel like doing.

* * *

><p>"Hello."<p>

I turn and see Tina smiling shyly at me, reminding me of those times I'd kiss her on an impulse when our relationship was still new.

In a way, I sort of miss that sense of something fresh that you only get when you have something new, but being in a relationship also builds so much more intense feelings and you learn so much more about the other person that it kinda balances it.

"Hey, there!"

I grab her waist and pull her to me, kissing her sweetly.

"How are you today?"

"So much better now that you're in my arms."

She punches my arm teasingly and giggles.

Suddenly I feel like I'm missing out on something good here because I'm letting all these other problems cloud my mind. I have an idea.

"I have a proposition for you."

Her fingers trace an imaginary pattern on my chest.

"I'm listening."

"Dinner tonight, just the two of us. Maybe a movie afterwards."

She looks up at me with a sparkle in her eyes. I just know she's going to accept it.

"Hmm. Any special occasion?"

"Spending some quality time with my girlfriend. Isn't that special enough?"

She drops a kiss at the tip of my nose and smiles brightly.

"Sure! Pick me up at 7?"

"I'll be there."

With one last kiss, we part ways and go to classes.

* * *

><p>Today is Saturday. I'm a little nervous, not gonna lie. I'm standing in my room pretending to move some things when in reality I'm just stealing some glances at Finn. Don't judge me. I can't help it. Believe me when I say I didn't want anything like this to happen. But it did and now I can't help but feel this kind of tug whenever we're in the same room.<p>

So, yeah, blame me if I don't want to go back to the football team – even though there's actually the whole "I'm not really into this" reason – or join the Glee club. I've thought about it, yes. It's impossible not to when Mercedes keeps nagging me about it, but what good can come out of it? I don't want to be part of the club that's the lowest of the lowest in high school nor do I want to spend yet more time in Finn's presence. Much less now that we'll even have to share the same room.

He turns and I try to act busy.

"Burt said he'd put together another bed."

"Yes. I helped him. We just need to figure out how to move all this stuff around to fit both beds here. We also need to divide the room."

He frowns.

"I don't mind sharing stuff. We're probably going to end up being brothers, so…"

"Yeah, no, Finn. I'd prefer if your clothes stayed on your side of the room. Especially when you come from practice. Yeah. We should totally keep ourselves and our stuff on our respective sides of the room."

Finn shrugs.

"As you like. I can stay on this side. I like the left side of the room."

"Finn, that's the right side of the room."

"Are you sure? I think it depends on your perspective."

My eyebrows rise.

"Okay… Whatever. We can move your bed there, then."

"Yeah. Grab that side."

We move the bed until he's satisfied with it. I turn back to look at the other bed.

"Well, I guess we should move it a bit towards the wall. It'll make moving around the room a lot easier, I guess."

"Sure."

He walks past me and his hands touch my shoulders momentarily.

A chill runs down my body. I close my eyes for a second.

"Are you okay, dude? You sort of stopped there…"

I look at him, already feeling my cheeks warming a bit.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Uh. Just a slight headache."

He straightens himself.

"Oh. Do you want me to go get you something?"

"No, no. It's okay. It'll… it'll pass. Let's just move this."

I sigh and walk towards the other bed to help him move it.

After a couple more hours moving stuff around, we finally reach a consensus and Finn leaves the room to see if his mother needs help.

I throw myself on top of my bed, face buried in my pillows.

This is going to be so much harder than I expected.

* * *

><p>Mercedes called me and asked if I wanted to go out for a bit before dinner. I gladly accepted. I think some time away from home will only do me good at this point.<p>

"Hey, white boy!"

I smile and hug her, feeling myself relax in her arms.

"That bad already?" she asks.

I can only nod against her shoulder. She runs her hands up and down my back for a few minutes before we part and sit down on the park bench.

"Let me guess, you bumped into him or vice-versa and your hormones got all crazy."

I roll my eyes.

"Even worse. He started running around the house trying to help everyone and started sweating a lot. He was talking about maybe getting his shirt off when you called me. I'm so glad I didn't have to stay there to see it."

She laughs, obviously amused with my mortifying experience.

"It's not funny, Mercedes. God, what the hell is wrong with me?"

I rest my elbows on my knees and my head on my hands. How did I get into such a mess?

"I'm sorry, sugar," she says, rubbing my back, and I feel even more miserable. "Honey, you're a teenage boy. You're like the male version of a pregnant woman; your hormones are all over the place. It's okay for you to have these moments where you can't control what you're feeling."

Wait.

"Did you just compare me to a pregnant woman? God, 'cedes. That was an image I didn't need clogging my brain. Geez…"

She laughs and this time I can't help but join in. I sit back and take a deep breath, looking ahead at the small lake in the middle of the park, watching a few kids play.

"Why can't life be easy?"

Her hand finds mine and squeezes it.

"Because one day we have to grow up and start taking responsibilities. Kurt, you said you don't feel anything for Finn. I mean nothing apart from a silly attraction. Am I right?"

I frown. Where are you going with this, Mercedes?

"Yes."

"Well, then focus on your relationship with Tina. I don't know. I think that once you realize that Finn will most likely become your stepbrother, you'll see how awkward it can actually get and you'll move on. Crushes come and go. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, but until then I'll still feel… whatever it is that I feel whenever he's there! I'm getting tired of it. Of having no control over my reaction to him."

She smiles at me.

"Don't worry. You'll learn how to control it sooner or later. Remember when I had a crush on you?"

I chuckled.

"Until I had to push you aside and tell you I knew what you were doing but would never be able to feel the same way?"

She looks down for a bit, shaking her head in embarrassment.

"Yeah. Well, I realized it was nothing more than a silly crush and that if I pushed you away from my life, I'd be missing out on having an amazing best friend. And here we are. No awkwardness. My feelings for you changed. They morphed into something bigger and better in a whole different way. So who's to say the same won't happen to you? You'll get an amazing stepbrother who'll be there for your wedding and stuff."

I laugh.

"That's what I call planning ahead!"

"I'm totally gonna be the bridesmaid!"

"That spot is all yours, dear."

We grin at each other.

"You have no idea how much I needed this."

She gets up and I follow.

"Actually I do. I wouldn't be your best friend otherwise."

"You know me too well. I get scared sometimes."

"Don't be. I wouldn't use my powers against you."

I smile.

"I'm glad."

* * *

><p>"I'm not sure she's that into me, dude."<p>

"Finn, we talked about the dude thing."

"I know, I'm sorry. Rachel turns my brain upside down sometimes."

I sigh as I get into bed.

"Finn, my brain shut down from this conversation five minutes ago."

Finn flops down onto his bed, heaving out a sigh and scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh."

There goes my indifference. Now I can only feel guilty for not listening to him.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I'm paying attention now."

He shakes his head and gets up.

"No, it's okay. I don't need to bother you with my problems."

"Finn…"

"It's okay, really."

He pushes back the covers and starts changing into his pajamas.

God. I turn around before I even become tempted to look. It'd do me no good. I'm blushing nonetheless.

When he gets back in bed, I try again.

"Finn, really, I…"

He turns off the lights and I know this conversation is over if he has any say in the matter.

Two hours later, he's already fast asleep and I'm still looking at the shadows on our ceiling, changing in form every time the wind shakes the leaves from the trees outside.

Maybe Mercedes is right. If I find a way to channel out my crush on Finn, I can become a true brother to him. Well, as best as I can, that is.

I can't ignore the guilt that's haunting me. He needed someone to listen to his problems and all I did was mute him in my head and pretend he wasn't saying anything.

Sure, I've heard about his relationship with Rachel. Everyone at school knows about their relationship and couldn't care less about their drama anymore, so why should I?

The thing is, if I want to work on this ignoring my attraction for him so we can become – as he'd put it – "bros", then I'll have to suck it up and listen to his problems and try to help him as best as I can.

I take a deep breath. After the awkwardness of having him sleep in a bed no less than 7 feet from me and after I've clearly turned him down when he asked for help, I can't find peace in my brain in order to be able to fall asleep.

It takes me another half hour of looking at the moving shadows on the ceiling before exhaustion takes over me.

* * *

><p>I walk to the bathroom door and notice it's closed. Now that I live with two more people, I find it appropriate to knock first instead of telling my dad to hurry up.<p>

"I'm almost done."

Finn. Yeah. Good thing I knocked first.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, preparing myself for the unavoidable encounter, before opening them again at the same time Finn opens the door, with a towel around his hips.

My eyes start following the path of a tiny droplet making its way down his naked wet chest before I can stop myself.

My heart races when I look back up to see Finn smiling at me, completely oblivious, and I feel my cheeks start to heat up. Oh. My. God.

"It's all yours now. I'm sorry I took too long in there," he says.

It's a miracle I actually manage not only to hear and understand what he's telling me but also to form a coherent response.

"Oh, no problem," I say, hoping my tone of voice won't betray me and give away my nervousness. "I just got here."

"Cool, then. See ya soon," he says before moving away.

As he walks away, I can't help but glance at the muscles in his back and I have to fan myself before I regain at least some of my composure and run into the bathroom, locking the door as soon as it closes.

I close my eyes and let my body relax against the equally closed door. I feel all sort of different tingles in my body and that scares me.

When I finally move away from the door, I look at my reflection in the mirror. As I assumed, I'm completely flushed, from my cheeks to the tips of my ears.

I turn on the faucet and let the water run into the sink and something within me changes. I feel a different kind of fire inside of me. I let my palms come together to gather some water before splashing it against my face with such a force it's almost like I can feel it tearing my skin, as if it could actually extinguish this burning feeling I have.

I'm angry because this is not the way I'm supposed to feel around my possible future stepbrother. I hate it that he does these things to me, these things that will torment me until I can finally get myself under control. He does it and he doesn't even notice it.

I'm even angrier at myself for not trying harder to do what Mercedes told me to.

When I'm done in the bathroom, I walk into the hall and leave the door slightly ajar behind me.

"Kurt?"

I turn around and I'm pretty sure my face resembles a very red tomato at this point.

"Dad?"

I see him peeking from his room down the hallway.

"Can you come here for a second? I think we need to talk."

Oh God, kill me now.

* * *

><p>You know that moment in your life you classified as the most awkward moment ever? Multiply it by ten thousand and you'll get the amount of awkwardness hanging in the air at the moment.<p>

I get into the room and close the door. I feel like this is going to turn into a very personal conversation that I'm sure I won't want anyone else to hear about. My dad is near the window and turns as he hears the soft click of the door closing.

Dread coils in my stomach as my dad continues to pace around the room.

I take a seat, waiting for him to start talking.

Maybe he wasn't going to ask what I thought he was going to ask. Maybe it would be something stupid, like how we had set up the beds or something. Please let it be anything other than what we spoke about the other day. I didn't want to think about Brian or how much of a coward I was. I just didn't.

I break free from my thoughts to see that my dad is still pacing around, now looking at the carpet below his feet and biting his nails.

I sigh.

This was taking forever. Perhaps I need to break the ice and say something first.

"Dad, whatever you're thinking..."

"Kurt," he interrupts me.

I sit straight and wait for him to take me out of this misery. Not knowing what's going through his mind is killing me.

"Yes?"

"I saw what happened out there. You know, when Finn got out of the bathroom."

I remain silent. I don't know what to say. I really don't want to have _this_ conversation with anyone, much less my dad.

"Dad..."

"You told me before how you like boys as well. That... it hasn't changed, has it?"

"No, dad, it hasn't changed! It's not something I can switch on and off, you know?" I snap, annoyed, upset and more than a little bit afraid of where he's going with this.

"Hey, hey! Slow down. I'm not judging, okay? I told you, I'll love and support you no matter what. You know that. Don't be difficult. I'm trying to have a serious conversation here. I just wanted to make sure we're still working with the same variables."

I sigh yet again.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just not something I'm used to dealing with, you know? A few days ago, I was ready to keep on going with a "girls only" policy, but some things I can't control and it gets on my nerves. I didn't mean it."

"That's alright, Kurt. I know this is hard for you, seeing as you were keeping it quiet. But what I want to know is..."

Oh God, here comes the million dollar question.

"Do you have a thing for Finn?"

Not gonna lie, it feels like a punch to the stomach. I try to process it all to give the right answer to my dad.

"I... It's not exactly like that. I mean, yeah, there's... something. But it's not like I like him or anything. It's just..."

How did Mercedes put it? Pregnancy? No, that can't be it... Oh!

"Hormones. It's just silly hormones making me feel some sort of attraction for him. But I'd never act on it! Besides, I'm with Tina. And she's the one I like."

"Are you sure about that, buddy? I mean... If you're attracted to him, it's gonna cause problems sleeping in the same room and seeing him naked. Did you have to go into the bathroom to...you know?"

A blush starts to creep up over my dad's cheeks and I'm starting to get really terrified of the direction of this conversation.

"Oh my God, Dad, NO!"

I can't believe my own dad just asked if I was getting excited over Finn. I really couldn't. What had I done to deserve this?

"Right, right. I just wanted to know."

His sigh of relief is audible. Good to know I'm not the only one finding this conversation difficult.

"But sleeping in the same room and stuff is creating problems for you isn't it?"

I bite my lip.

"Honestly? At first I was afraid. I'm not so sure how things are at the moment. He's kind of mad at me. Or disappointed would be a better way to describe it. We've only been there for one day. It's difficult to tell."

He surveys me carefully before asking, "What happened between you two that's made him mad?"

"He started talking about Rachel and, well, I sort of ignored his problems."

His curious gaze falls upon me.

"Is it because of this... hormonal thing you feel?"

"I..."

... don't really know. Was it?

"I don't think so."

"Are you sure? I mean, you know I only want the best for you, right? You are with Tina and I'm happy as long as you're happy. If you think you could find another relationship that would make you happier, I'd say go for it, but you know that Finn will never… you know… feel that way. That boy is girl crazy. And I don't want you to get hurt because of this silly thing because your… hormones or whatever are blinding you of that fact."

"Yeah, I know. I mean, I really like Tina. I don't want to break up with her. As I said, I don't intend on pursuing anything with Finn. That's not what's causing all this trouble. It's just... I can't help how I feel toward him. Physically, I mean. I know he likes girls; I accepted that a long time ago. I just want this attraction thing to go away so I can forget about it."

"Good. Okay, then. I'm glad you're still sane, no matter what your body tells you, I'm happy you're head's in the right place. So, about the room arrangement?"

"It's fine Dad. It'll just take some getting used to."

He nods and pats my arm.

"Okay. You'll tell me if you think it's a lot of pressure on you, right?"

"Sure."

I feel like the conversation is over now and I still think I should apologize properly to Finn because of the whole Rachel situation. I know I rely on Mercedes when things get rough. Maybe Finn needs me to be his own Mercedes in a weird "bro" kind of way.

"Look, dad, I think I'm gonna go try and find Finn."

His eyes widen.

"What? Why?"

"'Cause I need to put things right between us. He's mad at me because I wasn't listening to his problems."

His expression changes.

"Oh, right. Yeah. You go do the right thing. Just try not to get yourself killed."

I chuckle.

"I love you, dad."

He hugs me.

"I love you too, kid."

* * *

><p>Finn had left to go hang out with Puck, so I only managed to catch up to him when he finally came back, just before dinner.<p>

"Finn, I need to talk to you."

He frowns.

"Did I do anything wrong?"

I shuffle my foot.

"No. Actually, it's me who's in the wrong here. I wasn't a very nice friend to you yesterday, much less a brother. I know we're not family, per se, but I feel like we can be sometime in the future and I think we should really work on making this "bro" thing work."

He grins at the word.

Finn then drops his jacket on his bed and turns to me again.

"It's okay, really. I guess I was... sad about it yesterday. But it's okay. I don't need to bother you with my problems."

"No, no. But that's just it! I want you to be able to trust me. If we're gonna be living under the same roof, I think we should be able to trust each other with things that make us feel... not so happy."

He looks away, his hands moving around nervously.

"Yeah, but we can talk about other things that don't have to do with relationships. It's not like..."

I stop him with a firm hand on his arm.

"Finn, please. I know it's consuming you. I'm telling you I want you to share it with me. Again. If it makes you feel any better, that is. I won't make you share something you don't want to."

"I..." he eyes me uncertainly. "Are you sure? Once you get Rachel into a conversation, there's really no going back."

I take a deep breath. Of course I'm not sure! That girl's reputation follows her around everywhere. Although, I know I have to do this or we'll never be able to move past this and I may get stuck with this crush forever.

"Yes. I'm sure."

He smiles before sitting down and advising me to do the same. It was going to be a long talk, he'd told me.

He hugged me afterwards.

And even though it took me until I was lying in bed, almost asleep, to notice it, I'm proud to say that I didn't feel any spark when his arms wrapped around me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Still no Blaine here, sorry. I needed to deal with this first. Blaine will be in the next one. 'Till then, let me know what you think. Tell me how you think Kurt and Blaine will meet in this story. Let's see if you can guess right! Also I won't promise the next update will be soon, but know that I'm working my ass off to get it all right to bring it to you as soon as possible! Anyway, thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews and even if you don't review, thanks for reading anyway. I hope you're enjoying, even if you're a quiet audience. ;P  
>About this chapter, there will be some POV changes. I don't use their names to signal it, but I'm sure you'll catch up really fast as to who those thoughts you're reading belong to. Also, I finally present you Blaine Anderson. There's an awful lot of him in this chapter. I hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think afterwards. And leave me some suggestions on where you'd like to see this going, if want to! As always, all mistakes are mine. If you find any, please point them out!<p>

* * *

><p>It's now Tuesday and I'm walking down the hallway. Nothing out of the ordinary, I see.<p>

_Well_... That's until Santana strides past me with a huge grin on her face.

This shall be interesting.

"Hey, there, new guy!"

I roll my eyes, but actually turn to see who she is talking to. Maybe it finally is gossip day on my calendar. Too bad Mercedes isn't here right now. She would love to see this, I'm sure.

* * *

><p>I look up and see a beautiful girl walking towards me. I sigh. Here we go again.<p>

"Hi, uhm..."

"Santana."

"Blaine."

"So, Blaine, do you have a girlfriend?"

She _purrs_ my name in such a way that if I didn't know myself well enough, she'd make me fall at her feet, like many guys here do, I'm sure.

"No, I don't."

"Oh, good."

She comes closer, looking even more seductive than before.

"I think you're cute."

"Thanks. I think you're cute, but not really my type."

"Really? I'm sure I can be your type of girl, if you let me."

I move her hand away from my arm.

"But that's just it; I'm not interested in _any_ type of girl."

At last she seems to get it.

"Oh. Are you sure I can't change your mind, cutie?"

I laugh. Ah, the amount of times I heard that line.

"Yes. I've been sure of that for a few years now."

Someone approaches before she can say anything else.

* * *

><p>I can't hear their conversation, but this is the first guy I saw rejecting Santana's advances since ever, really. This guy already deserves a medal and doesn't even know it.<p>

I decide to save him.

"Santana, what is it with you and fresh flesh? Gosh, woman, let the poor lambs breathe on their own for a bit before you set your claws in them."

She looks at me and frowns before throwing a smile at him.

"We were just getting to know each other."

I see her stepping closer and the other boy inching back. I put my hand on her shoulder and pull her back.

"I think he got to know just the right amount of you for today. Why don't you go see where Brittany is? I think I saw her grabbing someone around the corner and claiming he was a better kisser than... Who was it? Hmm... You?"

"She said what?"

It always works. She's already turning and walking away.

"Thanks."

His voice brings my gaze upon him.

"I hear you're new here."

He nods.

"I'm Kurt."

I extend my hand and he doesn't hesitate to grab it and give it a firm shake.

"Blaine."

He smiles and I can't help but mirror his action.

The bell rings and he drops my hand, his expression giving room to an apologetic look.

"Sorry. I have to go now."

"Sure."

He has no need to apologize for that. I smile to make sure he knows that.

"I'll see you around?" he asks, already on his way.

"Yeah, maybe."

Part of me doesn't want there to be a maybe, it wants a certainty that I'll see him again.

The other part of me is shoving this part back into the closet and locking it again.

I sigh and head to my own classes.

* * *

><p>After walking down every hallway at least twice, I decide to stop by Tina's next classroom.<p>

Just as I reach the door, my mobile phone buzzes.

'_Hey, Kurt. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I'm sick, so I won't be at school today. Have a nice day and we'll see each other soon! Xxx'_

Well, that explains why I haven't seen her today. I'll go by her house after school. I send her a text asking if it's okay.

'_Sure! As long as you don't come too close. ;) xxx'_

I smile. How did I get so lucky?

* * *

><p>I know she's approaching me. I can't explain how this happens, but sometimes when she comes up to me, I feel it before I even see her. When I first told her about this she'd thrown her head back and laughed before placing her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.<p>

"It's obviously because we share an amazing bond and we were meant to be best friends," she'd said.

I smile.

"Morning, Mercedes."

"Okay. See that right there? That never stops being creepy, sweetie."

"Well, at least you won't give me a heart attack! Too bad I can't always sense your presence in time. So what's up today?"

She shrugs as she opens the door to her locker.

"I'm still trying to find out more about the new kid."

"His name's Blaine."

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Almost immediately a grin breaks out on her face.

"You finally caught up! Tell me, what is he like? Is he nice? Where did he come from? Why is he here?"

"Whoa! Mercedes, stop. I only know his name, that's all. Santana was hitting on him and he seemed to be trying to get away from her claws, so I decided to help him out and…"

"Wait. Rewind, please. He didn't fall at her feet the moment he saw her?"

"That's what I just told you. For every step closer she took, he'd take a step back to keep the distance."

Her eyebrows rise and she takes a moment to take it all in. I can't blame her. I was pretty surprised as well.

"Wow. Maybe you were right before."

I frown.

"You know, about us getting a humble one this time around."

I shrug and close my locker, waving at Mercedes and going to class.

* * *

><p>When lunch time arrives, I find myself sitting at a table with Mercedes.<p>

She's telling me about what happened in her previous class when I look away briefly and see Santana hitting on the new kid again. And he looks as uncomfortable as he did the first time she did that.

I roll my eyes and of course Mercedes notices I stopped paying attention to what she was saying.

"What?"

"Santana being Santana again over there," I say, pointing vaguely in her direction, redirecting my gaze back to the food in front of me.

"What is Sant… Wait. Is that Blaine?"

I nod, not even looking up.

"You've got to do something!"

Now, that makes me look up with a frown.

"What? Why? If he's gonna keep denying Santana, he's gonna have to learn how to get out of her grasp on his own. I won't be right around the corner every time it happens."

She blinks, huffs at me and gets up.

"What are you doing?"

"Blaine!" she yells and waves at him.

He looks confused for a moment before spotting me at the table. With a smile, he walks away from Santana and makes his way towards us.

"Mercedes!" I hiss. "What the _hell_ was that?"

She sits back down and shrugs.

"You wouldn't do anything about it, so I did it for you."

I open my mouth to give her a piece of my mind but she spoke again before I had the chance to.

"I told you I wanted to meet him, to know more about him so what better time than the present? Now hush, white boy. He's coming our way."

I sigh right before Blaine sets his tray down on our table.

"Hi!" he says with a radiant smile. I look away. Mercedes beams.

"Hey!" she says.

I murmur a response without looking at him and when he sits beside Mercedes, I can sense his disappointment. Maybe he noticed this wasn't exactly my idea to begin with. What can I say? I don't feel very welcoming today.

Here's the thing about new people: you don't know yet to which group they'll belong. You don't know if they'll grow up to be popular or go unnoticed. I like to hang out with people who have a defined status, because those who don't will follow you around and try to act like you so they'll hopefully fit in your group. And I don't want followers, sorry.

"Blaine, right?" Mercedes' voice brings me back to the present.

"Yes. I'm new here."

I smirk. I feel a harsh kick under the table in response. I look up and Mercedes glares at me before turning to Blaine and smiling sweetly.

"I know, sweetie. It's easy to spot new blood in this school."

He looks down in embarrassment and I can almost bet he's blushing a little.

"Oh. Yeah, sorry. I should've realized that. It's been a while since I was the new kid."

She places a hand on his wrist.

"It's okay, honey." She moves her hand away. "So you know Kurt already?"

I know what she's trying to do. I ignore her deliberately. I continue eating my food until another kick almost makes me choke on it.

I cough and send her a death glare.

"We've met," I say through my teeth.

She moves to kick me again but I move my legs away.

"You know what? I think I'm done." I get up and pick my tray. "Have a nice day."

Mercedes shakes her head at me and sends me a look that clearly says we're gonna be talking about this later.

"Don't worry, Blaine. He's in a bad mood because his girlfriend didn't come to school today."

I roll my eyes and turn around to say, "Don't be a bitch, 'cedes."

She smirks and shrugs.

"You love me anyway, sugar."

I walk away.

* * *

><p>I stop to look at the exchange. Then the girl's words register in my brain. Oh.<p>

"He has a girlfriend?"

She turns back to me. I hope she didn't notice how my voice went all weird there with the obvious disappointment.

"Yeah. They're a cute couple. I'm sure you'll love her. She's sick, that's why she's not around. Her name is Tina. She usually keeps that guy on a tight leash. He's all sweet and nice around her. You got unlucky and caught him in a bad day. Don't worry; he's not always like that."

I nod.

"But enough about them. Tell me more about you, Blaine."

I laugh.

"Okay. I'm Blaine Anderson."

"Mercedes Jones. Nice to meet you."

I smile.

"Likewise."

She links her fingers together and places her elbows on the table.

"Tell me, Blaine Anderson, what do you like?"

I feel my stomach clench a bit. Is she asking what I think she's asking? I mean, not that I'd lie. I told that to that Santana girl already, but that's because I didn't want her to keep following me around. Not that it made that much of a difference, though. I guess she didn't really believe it. But Mercedes… what if she'll push me away because of it?

"Well… I… I like football."

She nods. Maybe this is what she meant. Stop being so damn paranoid, Blaine!

"I like music, I like reading, I…"

She grabs my wrist again.

"Wait. You like music?" I nod. "Do you, by any chance, like to sing?"

* * *

><p>Once again, I manage to get my hands out of harm's way before my locker door is slammed closed. This is becoming a very twisted habit.<p>

"Can we do this later, Mercedes?"

"No, we can't. What the hell was that, Kurt?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When she uses my name instead of cute nicknames, I know I won't be left alone until she's done with whatever she wants from me.

"You'll say I was rude and that I should apologize. I'll say I know I wasn't particularly nice, but don't feel the need to do any apology. You'll say I should give the kid another chance and I'll say I'm not interested in becoming his "bff". You'll go on about how I'm being mean and letting this popularity thing get to my head, but deep down you know that's not true." I pause. "Now that we've had this very enlightening conversation, can we please move on?"

Her fist hits the nearest locker. A few students stare at her curiously but eventually walk away.

"No, Kurt. We cannot move on when you're acting so unlike you! Is this because of Tina?"

I frown.

"Of course not. She has nothing to do with it. She's missed classes before, you know?"

"Then what is it? Is it because of Finn?"

My frown intensifies.

"What? No! I told you I'm moving on from that already."

"Moving on doesn't mean you've actually moved on."

I take a deep breath and sigh deeply.

"Mercedes, this has nothing to do with other people. I don't care about the new guy, okay?"

"Kurt…"

"No, 'cedes. If you want to be his friend, go ahead. I don't."

"Kurt," she tries to interrupt me, but I keep going.

"I won't be his baby sitter. You can take that place for me."

She's silent.

"What?"

She nods, pointing over my shoulder. I look over it and see Blaine walking away in hurried steps.

"He heard everything. I wouldn't want to impose or say you should be his "bff", as you put it, but I do think you owe him an apology now."

She picks her back and walks in the other direction.

Well, _shit_.

* * *

><p>I knock on the door and wait. After a few moments, the porch light turns on and the door opens.<p>

"Oh, Kurt," Tina's mother tells me. "I'm glad you're here. Tina wanted to see you so bad. Come in!"

I smile and step into the house. She closes the door behind us.

"I'll let her know you're here."

"Thank you."

I sit down on the couch and wait. Tina's father comes into the living room.

"Hello, Kurt. How's it going?"

"Good, Mr. Chang. Thanks for asking."

He smiles and steps aside so Tina can come in. She's wearing a big fluffy robe and her face looks a paler than usual. She throws herself into my arms when her father decides to give us some privacy.

I hug her tight against my body and feel her place her head against my shoulder.

"I've been waiting for this all day," she murmurs against my shirt.

I hold on just that tiny bit tighter.

"I missed you so much," I answer.

She pulls back and rewards me with a bright smile. I try to close the distance between our faces, but she pulls back.

"We can't. I don't want you to get sick."

"I don't care," I say trying to inch closer again. Her arms fall from around my body and she takes a step back, widening the gap between us.

"But I do. And I don't want you to catch it."

I raise my arms in defense.

"Okay. I won't, then. But know that I really want to kiss you."

Her cheeks take on a pinker shade for a second as she bites her lip. She motions to the couch behind me.

"We can cuddle and watch a movie, though. That's good, right?"

I fall into the cushions and grab her hand, pulling her closer so she'll fall into the couch next to me.

"It's more than good, my dear. It's fantastic."

A few hours later, before I get into my own bed, I check myself in the mirror and see a big smile on my face I hadn't noticed was there. Yeah, watching movies and cuddling with my girlfriend does wonders to me. It was the best night of sleep I've had in days.

* * *

><p>"Hey!"<p>

No response.

"Would you please stop?" I try again. He keeps on walking away.

Determined, I quicken my steps and grab his arm.

"Hey! I just wanted to talk to you."

When he turns, I can see the anger in his eyes and feel the venom spilling from his words.

"Why, you think my baby sitter isn't doing a good job in educating me?"

Okay. I deserved that. It still hurt a bit, to be honest.

I hang my head, guiltily.

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You don't care about me, so why would you be sorry?" he bites back.

I look at the cars beside us.

"Okay. You can be mad. In fact, you should. It was uncalled for, I know. I barely even know you and I was ready to push you away and attack you. It's not your fault. I… My head was not in the right place at the moment and I'm sorry for that."

I can finally feel him relax beneath my fingers, which are still wrapped around his wrist, absentmindedly rubbing its soft skin slowly.

"I'm sorry," I repeat when he doesn't say anything.

"It's okay. I understand if you don't want to be my friend." He tugs his hand away from mine, making me release the hold on his wrist. "I won't bother you."

He manages to take three steps away from me before I shake my head at myself and catch up to him.

"I didn't mean it. I mean, I meant it at the time, but maybe Mercedes is right and I should give you a chance. She likes you. Says you're a good guy, so maybe we can be friends. If you'd like," I add.

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't want you to befriend me out of pity."

I shake my head.

"I wouldn't. I've had two days to think about this. I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't the tiny bit interested in seeing how this would work out. Look, we can get to know each other. Time will tell if we become friends or not. How's that? We have a deal?"

I extend my hand. He takes a few seconds but ends up grabbing it.

"Okay. Deal. But if we find out we hate each other…"

"We'll walk our own separate ways, don't worry."

Blaine smiles and I finally feel like I've done something right.

"Kurt!"

I drop his hand and turn. I grin.

"Hello!"

Tina runs into my arms and we hug tightly. I step back to kiss her lightly. She smiles when we pull back and I see Blaine standing there awkwardly and looking the other way.

"Oh, right. Tina, this is my possible future friend, Blaine."

He smiles at the title, but somehow his smile doesn't look as bright. I frown for a second before continuing with the introductions.

"Blaine, this is my girlfriend, Tina."

They smile and nod at each other.

"Nice to meet you, Blaine."

"Likewise," he says. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go. I'll see you around, okay?"

"Sure," Tina and I say.

She tugs my arm to divert my attention back to her.

"I believe that's the new kid Mercedes keeps talking about."

I roll my eyes and tighten my hold around her waist.

"She's been bugging you as well about it?"

Tina runs her hands up and down my upper arms.

"You know how she relies on you to gossip with, but you were having those problems at home… she had to go look for a substitute gossip group in the meantime and what better than the glee club for that? We're experts when it comes to gossip." She pauses and looks up at me. "See? Another reason why you should—"

I kiss her so I won't have to deal with the whole glee club thing now.

She wraps her arms around my neck and I can feel it in our kiss, the moment she forgets about what she was going to tell me.

"One day we're gonna grow tired of your combined sweetness."

We part from our kiss to see the amused expression on Rachel Berry's face. When I see her holding hands with Finn, I smile widely at him and he grins back at me.

"Well, well. Look who's back on the couple's list!"

They look at each other with matching smiles on their faces.

"We should get going," Tina suggests. "We're gonna be late for classes."

I give her one last kiss before we make our way back.

* * *

><p>As the teacher turns to write on the board, I feel my mobile phone vibrate in my pocket. It's a message from Mercedes.<p>

'_I asked him to join glee club.'_

I frown.

'_What?' _I send back.

'_I asked Blaine to become part of New Directions.'_

I roll my eyes and look up to see the teacher is still writing on the board.

'_Yeah, I got that, but why?'_

'_He said he loved music. I asked him if he liked to sing. He said yes, so I invited him to audition for the club.'_

I bite my lip.

'_What did he say?'_

This time the answer takes longer to get to me.

'_He said he'd think about it. Don't even think of trying to change his mind about it, sugar!'_

I frown at the words on my screen.

'_What makes you say that?'_

I turn my attention back to the board and write down what's written on it.

'_Cuz I know that's the first thing you'll think of doing once you see him again. This way you'll think about what I just asked you before you open your mouth.'_

I roll my eyes and put the phone back in my pocket and pay attention to my teacher as he turns around and starts explaining what he just wrote on the board.

* * *

><p>On my way back from my locker I cross paths with Blaine.<p>

"Hey," I start, getting his attention.

"Oh, hi, Kurt!" he answers, smiling.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah? What did you want to talk about?"

He seems a bit… nervous? Why would he be nervous?

"Mercedes told me she asked you to join glee club and that you'd think about it before giving her an answer."

He nods.

"Yes. In fact, I already have an answer to give her."

I tilt my head a little. Somehow it seems to me that he's made the wrong choice. I bet he didn't think of the consequences before deciding on it.

"And what would that be?"

"I'm going to audition for the glee club!" he exclaims, grinning like a fool. Because that's what he really is: a fool.

I shake my head at him.

"I don't think that's wise."

His smile drops a little.

"What? Why?"

I roll my eyes.

"Blaine, you've been around for… what, a week now? I'm sure you've noticed at least a few times now how the glee clubbers get treated around here. Is that what you want to happen to you, to be harassed and teased until you leave high school?"

He looks down. I wait.

"Kurt, I like to sing. At my old school there wasn't a glee club. For once in my life, I want to be able to do what I want, act the way I want to. I don't care if that'll make me less popular. Popularity isn't what I'm after here. I just want to be happy."

He looks up at his last words. I can see the sadness in his eyes. It looks way too deep to be just about a stupid school club.

I frown and grab his arm, leading him away from the crowded halls and into an empty corner just outside the school doors.

When we stop, I look at him to see him staring at his feet once again.

"Blaine. Look at me, please."

He hesitates but ends up attending to my request.

"What aren't you telling me?"

He looks away again, biting his lip. I sigh.

"Blaine…"

"Kurt," he interrupts me. "Can I tell you something personal? I mean, can I trust you with something and you'll keep it between us?"

My eyebrows rise.

"Um. Sure. If you want to, that is. I won't say a word."

He hesitates again. I apply a bit more pressure in his arm. Why is my hand still around his arm?

"And can you let me finish it without saying a word and without leaving me here, talking to myself?"

I frown momentarily. Why would I do that?

"Okay. You have my word. Not leaving or interrupting you."

He looks around us before speaking again, in a lower tone.

"I… there's a reason I moved here. I was bullied at my old school. I'm gay. And I was out and proud and… let's say it earned me quite a few bruises."

He pauses to chuckle darkly and look down at my hand, still wrapped around his arm. I think he sort of expected me to drop it. Which I almost did, from surprise, not disgust. Never disgust. He looks up again.

"I think they wanted me to fight back, prove my masculinity or something. I think they were trying to beat the gay out of me. As if that was possible. My parents started to notice. Well, my mother did. My father… he… our relationship is a bit strained."

I squeeze his arm in encouragement and that simple action earns me a small smile.

"If I can't get that out here – because I really don't know how people would react to it – then I can at least do something else that is also a part of me. As bad as it may sound, being a part of the glee club would be an awesome consolation prize for me. The second best thing, I guess."

He shrugs and falls silent.

"Are you done?" I ask a few seconds later. He nods.

"Okay. Firstly, your secret is safe with me, don't worry. Secondly, that certainly explains how you're the only guy here resisting Santana's attempts to get you in her bed."

We both chuckle at that. My hand leaves his arm as I see – and feel – him relax.

"As for coming out… I don't think that'd be a wise idea. McKinley has some really closed off mentalities so you probably wouldn't be safe if you did that. Joining the glee club is a big step up from that. I don't mean to offend you, it's just the way it is here, doesn't mean we all agree with it, okay? And after you do get to join the club, you need to be even more careful. I don't think being a part of it and being out and proud, as you said, would work all that well. They'd rip you to shreds, Blaine."

I sigh. I feel bad for being the one to push back the curtain and show him the real and cruel world behind it, but someone had to do it.

He's shuffling his foot a little, embarrassed.

"I understand if after this you choose to not hang out with me anymore. If it ever got out, people would judge you for being friends with the gay kid."

I frown.

"Hey! None of that, now. We'll keep it a secret. We'll keep you safe, okay? Also, why would I ignore you? We made a pact, remember? I haven't found anything to make me hate you yet."

He looks down again.

"It just makes me sad that people like you can walk around holding hands with the people they love while I have to hide that part of me because some people don't understand that love knows no bounds."

I sigh and look up, considering my options. Should I trust him like he trusted me?

I take a deep breath. "You know, I wasn't always with Tina. Things weren't always rainbows and butterflies. I could never hate on any form love can take. If I did, that would make me a hypocrite."

He looks up abruptly, eyes wide.

"What do you—"

"Blaine!"

We both look up to see Mercedes at the door, a few feet away.

I immediately step back and start to regret what I was about to do.

"I think I'm gonna go now."

"No, wait, Kurt," he grabs my arm.

I can't look at him now. He'll see the fear in my eyes and know the truth.

"We'll talk later," I say instead, in a neutral tone while pulling my arm from his grasp.

"Hey, white boy!"

"Hey, Mercedes. I'm gonna go home. See ya tomorrow!"

"Bye, sugar," she says. Blaine doesn't say another word to me and soon Mercedes is talking to him about the glee club and he seems to forget our conversation. I'm strangely okay with that right now.

* * *

><p>If my dad noticed how I didn't have much appetite at dinner, he hid it well.<p>

I sit in my bed, looking at the words in the book in front of me. I'm not reading them. I'd have trouble even trying. I can't concentrate. I gave up after reading the same sentence 4 times and still not make any sense out of it.

Finn was fast asleep. I only had a small lamp on my bedside table turned on in order to not disturb his sleep. I'm sure it wouldn't make any difference. He sort of hibernates every night. It's a mystery to me how he can wake up in the morning with his alarm clock when he doesn't wake up any other way. People could be arguing and killing each other off in our room, guns blazing, and he wouldn't even twitch.

I think back to what happened today. First, I managed to catch Blaine and explain. Fortunately things went well.

Then the whole glee club thing happened. I roll my eyes. That thing will always mess with my life. And people still wonder why I'm not part of it. It messes up enough already with me being away from it, imagine what it would be like if I was in it. I'd be dead.

But the glee club was also the reason Blaine opened up to me. He took a great risk telling me that, when we only know each other for a few days, some of those he was actually mad at me. He shared a very big thing. It's like he dropped a bomb in my hands. I have to be very careful with it or, as he said, if it explodes in my hands, it'll end up dragging me into this whole thing with him. He might not be after popularity, but I'm not exactly in a position to want to let go of it, now that I already have it.

Which leads me to what I was about to do. I drop the book on the floor next to my bed. My eyes are fixed on the wall opposite my bed. I gulp. What was I thinking? Sure, if he told that to anyone, I could always deny. He was the new kid. My word was worth way more than his, as my status is also superior. And I had leverage. He has a pretty big and bad secret.

I close my eyes. What the hell, Hummel? When did you become such a bad person? He trusted me with it.

Oh God. What if he expects me to return it, to balance it out by handing him my biggest secret?

Also, even if people believed my word instead of his, they would still have that flicker of doubt. They'd be looking for proof, I'm sure. They feed off of scandals. They'd turn my life upside down, I'm positive.

I open my eyes and feel my chest ache, moving rapidly with my deep irregular breaths. I pull the covers closer to my chest, a vice grip on them.

Does he know? Did I say anything that could give me away? Was I vague enough to keep my secret safe?

I shake my head. This isn't doing me any good. I need to know what he thinks; what he knows. I need to know how to protect myself, how to rebury the truth. I can't dig up my past now. It's still not the right time to deal with it.

Tears are running down my face. A small sob escapes my throat before I can hold it in.

He can't know. He can't. No one can. It'd ruin me. This can't happen.

I turn and hug my pillow.

My head is killing me. I don't know what to think. I don't know if he knows or if he doesn't. I don't know what to do to make it all right again.

It's not like I can deny it now. He'll know right away I'm not being sincere. But I can't open up to someone I just met, no matter if that's what he did. I don't owe him anything, I don't! Keeping his secret is my only retribution and I shall keep it this way.

I take a deep breath and force myself to calm down and relax my hold on my pillow.

What I need now is a good night's sleep and then figure out what I'm dealing with here in the morning, when I'm back at school. For now, there's nothing I can do.

The wind blowing against the leaves lulls me into a deep dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I'm really sorry it took me this long to get this updated. I struggled a little with a couple of scenes in this. I think I'm as satisfied as I'll ever be with this and my beta thinks this might work, so... yeah. Anyway, there are a few POV changes, but once you start reading, you'll notice whose POV it is. Oh, and thanks for the reviews and alerts!

* * *

><p>I thought deep down that this would be easier than it actually is. When I see him walk my way with that questioning gaze, I start to doubt I'll be able to know what he knows – or thinks he knows – without compromising myself.<p>

"Hey!"

I bite my lip before turning to him. Meanwhile, in my brain it feels a lot like someone keeps yelling "Abort mission! Abort mission!" non-stop.

"Blaine! Good morning! Listen, I was on my way to meet Tina before our classes begin. We'll chat later, okay? Bye!"

I want to think I didn't run out of there, but I'm pretty sure my pace quickened, just to make sure he wouldn't catch up to me.

* * *

><p>With my tray in my hands, I look at the usual table I share with Mercedes and Tina, when our schedules allow us to do so. Today Tina won't be able to join us. Unfortunately for me, it seems like Mercedes has already found a replacement for her on our table.<p>

"Kurt! I didn't see you all morning!" she exclaims as I set my tray down on the table, opposite Blaine.

"I'm sure he was with Tina," he says and I raise an eyebrow at him, which he doesn't really see because his eyes seem to be glued to his plate.

Mercedes looks at him as well, with a well-known "what the hell's with that attitude" look. I've seen it quite a few times lately.

"I was. But I'm glad I managed to catch up with you now, Mercedes," I tell her and she beams at me.

Blaine snickers, though.

"Okay. What's up with you, boy?" she questions.

He finally looks up at me. He doesn't say anything for a while, just looks like he's dissecting me, looking into my eyes, searching for whatever it is that he wants from me.

I frown and Mercedes elbows him gently. He breaks his gaze and I suddenly feel a lot lighter.

"Nothing. I think I lost my appetite. I'll see you later."

He takes his tray and walks away. When he leaves the room, my eyes return to Mercedes. She's looking at me expectantly.

"What was that?"

I shrug.

"Like I'd know!" I lie, as if I hadn't been running from him and his questions for the whole morning.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

I close my eyes. I'm not ready for this yet. It's the fourth time already that I've tried to avoid this conversation with him today. And after that awkward moment during our lunch, it's starting to get really difficult for me to get away from this with a perfectly good excuse.

"Hi, Blaine. I was just leaving. My dad's waiting for me."

Yeah, I'm perfectly aware that I'm grasping at straws now, but if it gets me away from this...

"Wait, Kurt. I've let you avoid this too many times already. We need to talk about this."

I walk past him again, towards my car.

"There's nothing to talk about, Blaine. Your secret is safe with me, don't worry."

Just as I'm about to open my door, his hand slams against it, blocking my only way out of this confrontation.

"What?" I snap, looking at his reflection on the window.

"Kurt, you and I both know we're not stupid, so don't act like we don't know what we're talking about here. You know what I mean and I know what you're trying to do. So, are we gonna be big boys here and deal with this?"

I sigh. Why can't he be a little more on the slow side like Finn?

"Okay."

His expression softens and he inches back, allowing me to turn and face him. From this angle, with me leaning against my car and him standing straight, with his hand still placed against the door, he actually doesn't look as short.

He's got that nervous look on his face again. He looks a bit distracted. I clear my throat and tilt my head slightly. He blinks and removes his hand from my car, taking a step back and widening the gap between us.

Before I can even think about what just happened, Blaine is talking again.

"What did you mean with what you said yesterday?"

"I said a lot of things yesterday, Blaine."

His hand closes into a fist. What the hell is he so mad about?

"Don't play coy with me, Hummel."

What the... Okay. This has to stop. No one talks to me like that. I straighten myself and – oh look! There's the height difference back – I adopt my best bitch face.

"Okay, Blaine, here's the thing: I don't know where all of this," I say gesturing at him. "is coming from, but I don't like your attitude, buddy. If I didn't say anything about it after the dozen times you've tried to get me to talk about it, it's because I don't want to. You said so yourself, you're not stupid, so I'm sure you've noticed. So here's the deal: you respect my wishes, drop this subject and we continue our path towards a beautiful friendship. Otherwise, if you don't let go of this attitude and keep pushing this, I'm afraid I'll have to let you know I'm not friends with douchebags."

He looks a little taken aback. I think he was pretty sure he'd have the upper hand here. He certainly doesn't look like someone who might've expected me to be turning tables on this.

He blinks.

"I... Why do you-"

I sigh. He's not going to let it go that easily. I should've expected this.

"Blaine, did you listen to what I just said? This friendship thing won't work unless you drop it. You keep pushing and I'll stop talking to you all together. You move on and if we become really close friends someday," I pause to take a deep breath. "maybe I'll tell you about it. That's the best deal I've got to offer. What's it gonna be?"

He looks up and takes a deep breath. He's struggling with this, I can see. Probably weighing his options.

"Okay. We'll become friends."

Blaine smiles slightly and I can't help but smile back. Good choice, boy.

"Good. I'm glad."

He scratches the back of his neck and looks unexpectedly shy. I watch with interest.

"So… uh. Can I have your number, then? We can text and maybe hang out sometimes. You know, like friends do."

Oh. Was that it?

"Sure! Why not?"

He smiles brighter now and I wonder how we went from being so mad at each other to exchanging phone numbers in a matter of seconds.

I hand him my phone and he hands me his. Once we're done, I take my car keys again.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yes," he says, nodding.

I see Blaine stepping forward and tilt my head questioningly. He seems to rethink whatever it was he was about to do and steps back again.

"Bye, then."

I nod and smile, but as I turn back to my car I frown again. When I get into my car and look back to where he was standing, he's gone. He's such a weird guy. I don't even know how I feel about that.

* * *

><p>The next days went better than expected. If I knew it'd work like this once I presented my ultimatum to Blaine, I would've done it way sooner. Granted, I only did it because he was all up in my face demanding to know things he didn't have the right to demand from me.<p>

The day after we exchanged numbers, on a Friday night, I received his first text:

'_Hi, Kurt! This is Blaine.'_

Quickly followed by his second:

'_Oh, I guess you knew that already. Sorry._ _I just wanted to wish you a good weekend and I hope you're doing something nice with Tina.'_

It made me smile, though.

'_Yes, I knew it was you, silly. And Tina is visiting her family this weekend, so we'll have to do with phone calls,'_ I texted back.

'_We could go watch a movie.'_

I looked at my screen. As I was about to answer, I got another text:

'_Only if you're not busy. And if you'd like to, of course.'_

I shrugged. Why not?

'_Yeah. That could be fun. What did you have in mind?'_

'_Oh. I don't know. Is there anything you want to watch?'_

I smiled again.

'_You hadn't really thought that far ahead, had you?'_

'_Honestly?'_

'_Honestly.'_

'_I thought you'd decline the offer.'_

Frowning, I questioned him.

'_Why did you think that?'_

'_Because I'm just the new guy and I thought you'd probably be too busy to waste your time like that.'_

How was I supposed to answer to that? I bit my lip and looked down at the keys, hoping they'd give me the right response. I sighed and typed what I thought would be appropriate.

'_Okay. __Let's get this straight. I'm sorry I pushed you away at the time and said I wouldn't be your babysitter. It's clear we haven't moved on from that yet and I'm truly sorry. But as I said, I want to be your friend now. So, yes, friends do things together, which, occasionally, includes watching movies. I won't be wasting my time if I'm having fun, right?'_

After hitting 'send', I stared at the cell phone in my hands. Was it the right thing to have sent that? I wasn't sure, but the way he'd asked before if I wanted an honest answer made me think that this would work if we were completely honest with each other. And by 'completely honest' I mean to make an exception for my past.

It vibrated and I quickly opened the received message.

'_Okay,' _it said. _'Can we meet each other at The Lima Bean tomorrow?'_

And so we did and I had a lot of fun. Also, it seemed like he'd finally believed I wasn't doing this whole 'let's be friends' thing out of pity. Since then, we've been exchanging text messages and learning more about things we have in common.

As we start to become good friends, I start to feel a little bit guilty. I know he's opening up to me, telling me things about him I'm sure he hasn't told others, apart from the close friend or two he had back at his old school and still keeps in contact with.

But I can't do much about that. I'm not ready to taint that perfect image he has of me now. I'm not sure I'll ever be.

* * *

><p>Believe me when I say I don't want to feel any of these things I'm feeling right now. "What?" and "why?" you may ask.<p>

Let's start with "why?", if you don't mind.

See, my life is already complicated the way it is. Having to deny a part of yourself in order not to get hurt and embrace another that, in the end, will have me being just as much humiliated anyway, even if it's the safer path to take.

As for what I'm talking about…

I look up from my lap to the choir room's door. I don't know why I keep torturing myself like this, but it's like I can't help it.

A few moments later and there they are, their fingers intertwined and matching silly grins. My stomach clenches on its own accord and I immediately recognize that as the big headed green monster mostly known as jealousy.

The moment Kurt leans forward to kiss her is the moment I have to look away. I know they're together, so that's always in the back of my mind, but to actually see their displays of affection? It's like someone's cutting that thread of hope I keep hanging onto, even if part of me just wants to slap some sense into my head. And heart.

I guess the cat's out of the bag now. At least for me. No one knows. It's not like I have many friends to talk to about this. Maybe that's what I need, someone to open my eyes to the stupidity that is falling for someone who's already taken. I can't lie; he's on my mind a lot lately. I like him. I've admitted that to myself. But since then, it's like things are more complicated. It's more difficult to fight that desire to just reach out and touch him, to pull him into a hug, to kiss him, to feel his heart beat when our chests are touching.

I sigh and Tina sits in the chair in front of me. I look up to the door again and he's already gone. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and focus on what Mr. Shue is saying.

When I risk a chance look at the chairs next to me, I see Mercedes frowning at me, looking at the door and then back at me.

I take a deep breath and my lungs freeze. She saw it. Oh man, I'm screwed!

* * *

><p>A hand grabs my arm as soon as I step outside the choir room and pulls me into a corner.<p>

"Mercedes! You scared me."

"Good," she says. "This way I'm sure I've got your attention."

"So what's up?"

She squints at me and I wait, feeling some sort of uneasiness clinging to my nerve system.

"What was that at the beginning of glee club?"

"What are you referring to?" I question, making myself dumb for a moment.

"You know very well what I mean, B."

I look at my hands unconsciously and curse myself for doing it, knowing plain well that gave me away already.

"Okay, B-boy. Go ahead and tell me what it was."

I shrug.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Don't play dumb with me, boy. I saw… whatever that was, really, with Kurt there. What was that about?"

"I really don't know what we're talking about here. He and Tina approached the door and then he left. Nothing out of the ordinary, Mercedes."

She looks contemplative, like she's deciding if she'll let me off the hook or not.

"Do you… like him?"

I guess that's a no, then.

"What? What made you think that? Of course not!"

She frowns.

"Are you sure? You know I'm not really against that or whatever, right? I just… want to make sure you won't get hurt."

"Well, don't worry about that. I don't like him like that. So there's really no way of me getting hurt."

I walk away before she can say another word.

I think about what she said. Too bad it already hurts. And there's nothing she can do to protect me from it now.

* * *

><p>We're in the library, looking for a book for our group assignment. Blaine was the third member of our group. He couldn't be with us right now, so we decided to start our research and then get together at my place tomorrow to discuss it and start working on it.<p>

A few minutes later and I feel her gaze upon me. Although, whenever I direct my eyes from the bookshelf to her face, she always seems to be looking back at the shelf, searching for the right book.

After the fifth try to catch her eyes, I sigh, tired of this already.

"Just let it out, Mercedes. It's freaking me out the way you keep doing that. And I'm sure you haven't been looking for the book for the last five to ten minutes we've been here. What's on your mind?"

She takes a deep breath, defeated.

"How are things with Tina?"

I frown and put the book I had in my hand back into the shelf.

"Why-"

"Just answer the question."

I frown deeper.

"They're good, I'd say. What-"

She interrupts me again.

"What about Blaine?"

Okay. What does this have to do with anything?

"What about him?"

She turns back to the shelf. I don't know if that's a good or a bad sign of what's about to come.

"You guys are friends now?"

"Yes. I think so. Has he told you anything in contrary?"

For a moment, Mercedes looks… panicked? What the hell is going on?

"No! What? What makes you think he's told me anything? No, no. I… no."

"Okay," I say, grabbing her shoulders and making her turn to me. "What is going on with you? You're freaking me out. Why the sudden questionnaire?"

Her eyes are still glued to the floor and I'm running out of ways to make her tell me what's really behind all of this.

"He's a good guy, right?"

"From what I've come to know of him, yes." I pause and smile. "Wait, Mercedes, do you like him?"

She doesn't even smile and seems to completely ignore the question.

"You wouldn't hurt him, right? Because he's a good person and he wouldn't deserve that, right?"

Okay. It's official. She's speaking in some sort of code to me that I've yet to manage to uncover. I'll never know what she's talking about. I've already resigned to that fact.

"Why would I? He hasn't done anything to hurt me. I would never do something like that without a reason and he hasn't given me one. He's a good friend of mine now, I'd say."

Mercedes finally looks up. There's something in her look. I don't know what it is, but it worries me a bit. It's like she's protective of something I still haven't figured out.

"You know your status here gives you way more leeway than we have. Especially with us being in the Glee club and all that. People look down on us. They hate us for the simple purpose of being the "losers" in this school. You're my best friend, Kurt, and you know I'm grateful for everything you've done to protect me in the past, even if it didn't cover everything they did to me."

I smile sadly at the thought of the last slushy I saw being thrown at her face.

She continues.

"I just want to make sure you'll be there for Blaine if he needs it. He's… different. I don't know what makes him different yet, but he is. He's much more likeable than most of the guys here. And no, I'm not romantically interested in him, but he's great and nice and all those things most guys in this school aren't. I'm afraid he'll get really hurt because of the way he is."

When she says this, I pause in my own thoughts. She reminded me of his secret. Yes, he's definitely different. If he's not careful enough and if somehow people find out about his secret, the football guys will tease him to no end. They won't stop at simple verbal taunting or slushy attacks. He'll be treated the way… _**he**_ used to be.

The mental image of his beaten body lying on a hospital bed makes me fear for Blaine. What if they do the same to him? Mercedes is right, I can't let that happen. I don't think I could overcome the same scenario happening. It was easier with Brian, because no one else knew about him. No one would bring it up in a conversation intentionally or unintentionally. It would be different with Blaine.

Leaving my thoughts behind, Mercedes is gripping my hands, looking at me pleadingly.

"Please, promise me you'll do your best to protect him. He hasn't been teased yet. I'm afraid of what it means. They might be coming up with an evil plan. He's the new guy who joined glee club. You know it's worse for him than it was for us. This will forever define him."

I nod. I know that only too well.

"I promise."

Moments later, we find the book and we start working on our project. It's actually good for me. It provides me with a good distraction.

* * *

><p>"So I finally see you today, B-boy!"<p>

I jump in my seat. Damn it.

"H-hi! How are you, Mercedes?"

She places her tray on the table and sits down in front of me.

"I'm not very happy, now that you ask."

"Oh. Is there something wrong?"

"Yes," she says as she picks her fork. "You've been avoiding me. I want to know why."

I laugh nervously.

"What? I haven't been avoiding you. Why would I do that? That's ridiculous."

She pauses, her fork halfway to her mouth and places her elbows on the table, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Okay. Firstly, that was way too long of an answer to be the truth, B. Secondly, you say you weren't avoiding me."

I nod. She continues.

"Then what was that when I set foot inside this school and the moment you saw me you basically _ran _to your first class of the morning? No one does that, Blaine."

"I was just-"

"And during one of the morning breaks when you were chatting with Kurt and suddenly you had somewhere to go?"

"I actually-"

Mercedes interrupts me again.

"Stop it. Just spill it out, B-boy. What's going on? Is it because of our conversation yesterday?"

"Wh-no! What?" I stutter.

She gives me her "oh really?" look. I roll my eyes.

"There's not much to spill, Mercedes."

Her eyes widen a bit.

"Oh! So there is something to spill!"

I look down and bite my lip. She places her hand on top of mine and I look at her eyes, harboring such care and understanding that I find myself unable to deny her request to "spill".

I take a deep breath and look around briefly before returning my gaze to her face.

"Okay. I'm gonna trust you because I don't have a lot of friends here. You're one of the closest friends I have right now and you seem pretty trustworthy."

She nods, sympathetic, but I can still feel that buzz of impatience and excitement for finally having me talk to her about something secret.

"I don't think this being friends thing with Kurt is working very well."

She beams.

"So you do like him!"

I roll my eyes. Not that easily!

"No! That's not it at all."

Her eyebrows rise in interest.

"Oh?"

"You know how in a healthy relationship, no matter what kind of relationship, you have to share things about yourself, some more personal than others, but still you do it to keep it balanced and to know more about your friends and stuff?"

Her eyebrows return to their original place and she nods.

"Well, I feel – no, I _know _– that Kurt is holding something back; something he almost shared with me but, for some reason, decided against it. He told me this friendship would only work if I let it go, but I feel like this is something important. I don't want to pressure him into telling me what it is but I can't let it go that easily either."

Mercedes' features soften and her hand leaves mine on top of the table.

"Maybe you should do as he says. Give him some space."

I exhale quickly in frustration.

"But that's just it! It seems like the more space I give him, the less our friendship evolves. I don't really see myself as his friend, you know? We share some common interests and talk about a lot of stuff, sure, but it's like he's always holding back. He never takes the first step when it comes to that whole sharing process I just mentioned. Every time it looks like he's being forced into sharing things about him with me. I don't like that. He's treating me like a colleague, not a friend. I guess in a way that's okay, but… I don't know."

I shrug and pick my fork, pushing the food around in my plate.

She bites her lip and after a moment of silence, she reaches for my hand again, to stop me from playing with my food.

"Blaine, maybe it's something he's not ready to share yet. Maybe the reason he's holding back so much is because he's trying to protect something more personal than what your new-found friendship can handle. Just give it some time."

Mercedes smiles at me and I figure out where all this understanding is coming from. I chuckle.

"You know what it is," I say in a neutral tone. I'm not judging, but I'm also not questioning it. Of course she'd know. They're best friends.

"If what you say he's holding back is what I think it is, then, yes, I know. And that's why I'm asking you to give him some time."

She pauses to squeeze my hand before continuing.

"But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be your friend or that he'll never tell you what it is, just that it might take some time for him to get there. He likes to keep things to himself. It's not a flaw; it's a defense mechanism. It's part of who he is."

Mercedes pats my wrist tenderly before going back to her meal.

I relax.

"I'm overreacting, right?"

She chuckles.

"A little. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It just means you care, sweetie. You should probably try and talk to him about it, though. If you feel something is getting in the way, you should both work out a way to fix it. Don't let things get awkward or something because you're afraid of what will happen if you bring it up with him."

I nod before shrugging.

"I don't know. I think I'll let it be for now. Give it some more time."

"Whatever you think is best, B-boy."

We share a smile before turning back to our meals and change the topic of our conversation.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rings and I make my way to the door to see who it is.<p>

Blaine's smile greets me when the door opens and I step aside to let him in.

"I hope I'm not late. I had to rely on my GPS to get here and it took me longer than I expected to find your house," he says as I take his coat to hang it by the door.

"You're fine. It's not like we're catching a plane or something."

"I like to be punctual. So where's Mercedes?" he asks, looking around the empty living room. "Is she later than me?"

I follow him into the room and take place on the couch in front of the small coffee table, filled with books, papers and pens.

"No," I answer as he takes place beside me on the couch. "Actually, I was going to call you, but she told me not to."

"Oh?"

"She can't come today. Something came up last minute. She told me not to cancel. She asked us to start working with the research we did back at the library and that she'd join us tomorrow to compare some notes."

"She would," he whispers and there's a small smile on his face, although not a very happy one from the looks of it. I don't know what he meant with it.

"What do you mean?"

He looks up at me, startled.

"Oh, nothing. I was saying that she would want us to start going in order not to fall behind on our group work."

Somehow his explanation doesn't ring true to my ears, but I let it go for the moment.

We get back to work. I'm actually glad me and Mercedes got someone like Blaine to work with. He's smart and hardworking. I'm sure we'll get this group work done really soon and get a good mark for it.

A couple of hours into our work, we decide to pause for a few minutes.

"I could give you a tour of the house, if you'd like," I suggest.

Blaine smiles and nods.

"Sure. That should be fun."

"Mind you, Finn and his mother moved in quite recently, so some boxes are still all over the place, waiting to be unpacked."

He nods. "Understandable."

"Here's my room. Well, it's Finn's as well," I say as I approach the door. "My dad promised me that, if we ever get another place, I'll have a room all to myself. I can't wait!"

I pause.

"Oh, does that sound bad? It does, doesn't it? I'm such a bad person."

Blaine laughs and his hand finds its place on the small of my back once we reach the bottom of the stairs.

"No. It's okay. I think in a way everyone wants some place that is only theirs, where they can have some more privacy. You're not a bad person; you're just human."

He looks around the room and smirks.

"I like how anyone can get here and guess which side of the room is yours and which is Finn's."

"Really? Which side would you say is mine?"

He points to his side.

"Definitely the tidiest one. I like the colors you matched. It looks awesome, even if Finn's bed cover doesn't match at all."

I squeal internally. Finally someone who understands me!

"I know, right? I told him countless times, but he always answers me with something along the lines of 'no one cares'."

I shrug and Blaine leaves my side to look at some pictures on my side of the room. He's squinting at one of them.

I approach him.

"What?"

He squints some more.

"I think I know that guy over there."

I inch closer to the wall and squint as well.

"Which one?"

My question is greeted with silence while I still try to see who Blaine knows in that picture that doesn't attend our school.

After a long moment of silence I turn to him and pause. Those big hazel eyes seem to be looking into my soul. Suddenly I hear a door slam shut upstairs and Finn's yelling my name.

Blaine's eyes widen and he takes a step back quickly.

I open my mouth only to close it again the moment Finn opens the door to our bedroom, at the top of the stairs.

"Kurt! You home?"

"Yes! Do you really need to be a caveman and yell like that inside an otherwise empty house?"

"Sorry," he says as he starts descending the stairs with a sheepish look on his face.

I look back to Blaine, but he's looking at his fingers.

"Blaine-"

"Uhm. Kurt, I'm gonna have to go now. I just remembered something important. That I need to do. Yeah. So. Yeah. I'm gonna go. I'll see you and Mercedes tomorrow to finish our project."

"But Blaine, wait!" I yell after him, but he's already running up the stairs and bumping into a very confused Finn.

"Sorry!" Blaine yells back as we hear his footsteps, running into the living room to gather his things.

I ascend the stairs with Finn right behind me.

When we get back to the hall, Blaine is picking up his coat from the hanger.

He looks back at us and… is that fear in his eyes?

"Blaine?"

"I…"

And then the door closes and he's gone.

Finn and I look at each other and when he points at the front door, I can only shrug and shake my head. God only knows what the hell just happened.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** As always, let me know what you think. Leave some suggestions, if you feel like. Or questions, if you feel like you're missing something. ;) I'm already working on the next chapter. I'll try and have it ready by Saturday/Sunday. Won't promise anything. You probably know how life tends to get in the way of people's plans.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **First of all, sorry it took me a long while to update this. I was struggling with the personality of a few characters in this. I think I got it down now. I have to thank my fantastic beta, because without her, I don't think I'd be able to finish this chapter in a way that would leave me feeling satisfied with the results. Anyway, thanks to all the reviews, alerts and whatnot and thanks for those of you who are still around and reading this. I hope you won't be disappointed or mad at me when you're done reading this chapter.

* * *

><p>We are by the lockers, exchanging kisses and other small caresses. She pulls back after a while and pushes me back a little.<p>

My eyebrows rise on their own accord and she motions with her head to the side, prompting me to look down the now empty hall.

"Oh. This means you have to go now, right?"

She nods.

"I have Glee club now."

Urgh. I sigh, because I already know what's coming next.

"You could come and see what it's like."

She's beaming as she takes my hand and we walk towards the choir room. I don't really like to bring down the mood, but...

"You know I don't want to. Must you always ask me this?"

She frowns as we approach the door.

"Your voice is amazing."

I chuckle.

"You never heard me sing."

She smiles sadly at me.

"That's because you never do it in front of me, but I bet you have a singing voice just as angelic as you talking voice is."

This makes me smile widely. What can I say, I love compliments.

"Oh, am I an angel?"

"You're my angel," she says excitedly before throwing her arms around my neck and bringing my head down.

As we kiss, I look inside the choir room where the other glee kids are getting settled in their chairs. No one is paying any attention to us.

Well, no one except for Blaine.

I feel the sudden urge to wrap my arms around Tina and pull her even closer to me. She lets out a small moan of approval and he looks away.

We part and she goes inside. They greet her and some even wave at me. I wave back, throwing an extra smile at Mercedes, before looking back at Blaine.

He's not waving or anything. He's just looking at his hands or at his teacher. After a while, probably when he thinks I'm already gone, he looks up at me and lets out a soundless gasp, closing his mouth right after, a light blush spreading in his cheeks already.

I smirk and wave lightly before turning and going back to my car.

Something is up with him since he left my house, a few days ago. He's been avoiding me ever since. Sure, we still talk if it has anything to do with our group work and he'll greet me every day, but after that it always feels like he's taking the long ways to avoid having to face me on his way to class.

He also hasn't been having lunch at our usual table. He's been hanging out with other glee club members. You know it's something serious when even Mercedes has noticed it. She'll raise her eyebrow at me and I'll shrug it away. I wish I knew what happened with him.

I leave the parking lot, putting some distance between me and that school. Lately, it's the only way I can manage to tame my wandering thoughts.

* * *

><p>"Okay, this has to stop."<p>

He looks momentarily shocked when I decide to break what seemed to be an unspoken agreement that I'd let him get away with it and move on.

"What has?"

"You. You have to stop avoiding me. I need to know what the hell happened at my house that afternoon."

He closes his locker.

"Nothing happened. I told you what it was at the time."

"No, you didn't. All you did was come up with a sad excuse to get out of there as quick as possible."

He sighs and leans against the lockers.

"Look, I had things to deal with at home. It's all done now. Everything's okay again. Can we please move on from this?"

"You tell me! Are you ready to tell me what's the matter with you so we can move on from this once we've discussed it?"

He frowns and looks kinda angry.

"How is this any different than what you keep to yourself? So you can have your secrets but I can't?"

I take a step back.

"So this is what this is all about? You said you'd move on!"

If our voices rise and people around us start to turn to see what's going on, we either ignore it or don't care.

"No! I said I wanted to be your friend! I never said I'd leave this alone forever."

I lower my tone when the amount of people around us seems to multiply.

"You knew my conditions. You accepted it."

He sniggers.

"Well, what other choice did I have? You didn't leave me much to work with!"

"If you want to take your word back, this can end right here, right now," I challenge.

He slumps back against the lockers and sighs. He runs a hand across his face and through his hair before fixing his gaze on me again.

"Kurt. Listen to what you're saying. You want me to make an exception for you when you can't make an exception for me. What kind of friendship is this selfish?"

He steps away from the lockers.

"Think about it. When you open your eyes to what's really happening here, you know how to find me."

When Blaine walks away, I take a second to notice everyone silently judging me.

"What?" I yell and run away.

* * *

><p>She sits down beside me.<p>

"Hello, Mercedes."

"Hey. You're not really having the best day, are you?"

I shake my head and she throws her arm over my shoulders to pull me closer to her.

"I talked to him, like you said I should."

Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath.

"I knew this had something to do with Kurt."

I lean my head on her shoulder and she rubs her hand up and down my arm.

"This morning he was all mad with me because I didn't want to talk about something that happened the other day. I told him he was being unfair, because he refuses to talk about whatever secret he has but wants me to expose my whole life to him, you know?"

"What did he say?" she asks.

I shrug.

"I left before any of us could do any more damage." I pause and chuckle. "This was doomed from the very start. I don't know how I tricked myself into thinking that the guy who so obviously yelled that he wouldn't want to be my babysitter would somehow turn out to be a great friend."

"Aww, come on. He's not that bad. He just… acts on impulse sometimes. And you know that can't always work in our favor. Believe me, I know him for quite some years now and at first we struggled somewhat. Now look at us: we're best friends."

I lift my head from her shoulder and sit straight, her arm leaving its place around my shoulders. She takes my hand instead.

"Look, I don't want to scare you away or make you admit something you're not ready for, but it's obvious you care, sweetie. I used to have a crush on him before we became friends, you know? I think that's what made our relationship difficult at the beginning."

I look at the other students walking around the parking lot.

"So you're saying I shouldn't have a crush on him because we'll never be able to be friends that way."

"Among other reasons. Look, he's with someone now. If you mess with his head, he's gonna fall out of sorts. He'll mess up things with you and, unintentionally, he'll mess up things with Tina."

I shake my head.

"I'm a guy. He'd never like me that way. I know. I set myself up for failure," I finally admit. "And I would never want to be responsible for anything that happened with him and Tina."

Mercedes smiles sadly and squeezes my hand.

"I'll help you get over it. I've done it once for myself; I can help you do it too."

I look at her and she winks at me.

"Don't worry. I don't like the rebound system. And, no offense, but you're not really my type."

I chuckle.

"Well, as you probably know now, you're not really my type either, no offense."

"So, you're really…"

I nod.

"Yeah. I'm told your school isn't very accepting of it, so I'm not exactly yelling it out there for everyone to hear."

Her look seems apologetic, but it's not really her fault, I know.

Mercedes pats my hand and gets up.

"So how about some lunch now?"

I beam at her.

* * *

><p>"Okay, what did you do to her?"<p>

I look up at Mercedes.

"What do you mean?"

"Tina spent the last hour ignoring our teacher, doodling in her notebook and smiling."

I chuckle.

"That girl is head over heels with you, white boy, I'm telling you!"

"Well, that's good, I suppose, because the feeling is obviously mutual."

"So what was it?"

I shrug.

"I'm taking her out tonight. We're having dinner at Breadstix. Maybe we'll go to a movie afterwards."

"Oh! Boy!" she exclaims, grabbing my hand and squeezing tight. "I'm so happy for you guys. I know you do this all the time, but, really, I could listen to you both say the same thing over and over just to see that special spark in your eyes."

I look down and feel my cheeks heat up.

"Aww! You're blushing!"

"Okay, 'cedes. Stop that. You need to find yourself a nice guy and stop living through our relationship. And I mean this in the nicest way possible, believe me."

She lets go of my hand.

"I know, sugar. To be honest, I feel quite happy right now. Sure, I wouldn't mind having someone talk about me with that lovely spark in their eyes, but I think I'm actually content to be single right now. I've seen lots of couple's drama. Especially from Rachel, Quinn, Finn…"

I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I know how you feel."

"But you and Tina give me hope."

When I look back at her, I'm greeted by a big honest smile. I can only smile back in response.

* * *

><p>I'm playing with her fingers in my hand when she grabs my hand, making me stop and look up at her.<p>

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

She bites her lip. That is so freaking adorable.

"Are you okay?"

I frown.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?"

Her index finger is drawing small circles in the palm of my hand.

"I feel like you're absent. I mean, you sort of zoned out for a moment there. I was talking and you weren't paying much attention."

I panic a little. Did I really get that lost in my thought? What was I even thinking about?

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Tina. That's really horrible of me."

She smiles and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers once more.

"I'm not mad, Kurt. I'm worried. You seem unusually distracted."

Ah, damn it. I feel so bad now. How did I let this happen? During our date, even!

"I am really sorry, believe me. I have no idea why I spaced out. But it has nothing to do with what you were saying, I'm sure. I could listen to you talk for hours on end, dear. It won't happen again, I promise."

* * *

><p>Well, it did. Happen again, that is. I unintentionally broke my promise. And this time I was very well aware of my thoughts.<p>

"Kurt? Kurt," she calls me, bringing my attention back to her.

We're walking towards her front door.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."

She shrugs.

"It's okay. So I guess this is it," she says, gesturing to her house.

"Yeah."

"I had fun tonight."

My arms circle her waist and pull her closer.

"Me too. I hope we'll get to do this more often."

She tilts her head up and my lips meet hers halfway.

I can't tell what it is, but somehow this kiss feels different. It's not as intense, even if the emotion is there. When we break apart and her eyes find mine, I know she noticed as well.

There's a smile on her face, but I know it's not as real as it used to be.

We step away from each other awkwardly. This had never happen before. What the-

"Goodnight, Kurt. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you. Sleep well!"

I stand there, waving like a moron.

I frown as I get back into my car, thoughts swirling in my head.

"Oh, God. This is so messed up."

* * *

><p>"Okay, guys. Let's do it one more time. From the top!"<p>

I move back to my initial place and wait with Brittany beside me. Mr. Schuester seemed to think it was a good idea to have us paired up in this number.

The truth is that I don't really care about that. I've been too busy watching Tina and Mike dancing and having maybe a little too much fun with each other.

And, yes, it has crossed my mind that maybe I'm seeing things where there aren't things to be seen just because I'm biased, but I think that the way they behave when they're close to each other seems to go beyond a regular friendship.

In fact, if I didn't know better, I could almost say Tina was dating Mike and not Kurt. And if I'm honest with myself, I can't even deny that a large part of me wishes that to be true. But even then, I'd never have a chance with him.

The song comes to an end and I stand there, observing Mike and Tina. They're still laughing with each other, his arm around her waist and her hand on his upper arm.

"What's up, B-boy?" Mercedes asks.

I shrug, but can't look away from them.

"Uh oh."

I turn to her.

"What?"

She places her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing, sweetie?"

My eyebrows rise.

"Me? Nothing. What would I be doing?"

She shakes her head at me.

"Don't do it."

My shoulders drop.

"I just… Did you ever look at them during glee club? There are times when they act like a couple."

Her arms drop to her side and she steps closer to me.

"Blaine, stop looking for reasons to break them up. You're the one who'll end up hurt when all's done."

"But I'm not looking for it! It's right there to be seen! By anyone," I argue, pointing at them.

Mercedes shakes her head again and turns me around so I can't look at them any longer.

"You said you wouldn't try to get in between them. Don't go back on your word now, B."

"I'm not going back on my word, Mercedes. I'm just pointing out what's obvious. Is Kurt okay with this?"

Her finger is in my face.

"You are not going to bring this up to Kurt, are you?"

There's a pause. She probably sees it on my face that I'm not ruling out that option. A few members pass us by on their way out and we smile at them. Once they're gone, she turns back to me.

"Blaine, sweetie, don't do it. He'll turn against you and that will be even worse. I don't mean this to sound bad or anything, but you are aware that he's not going to believe what you have to say about her, because he trusts her more than he trusts you, right?"

I nod, resigned.

She smiles sadly at me. I sigh.

"I know that. Especially now that things are a bit strained, as you know."

Mercedes nods.

"It'll be okay."

She pats my arm affectionately and leaves the choir room.

I go back to my chair to pick up my stuff. When I turn to leave, I see Mike kissing Tina's cheek and smiling before leaving as well.

"Oh, come _on_!"

* * *

><p>"White boy!"<p>

I turn and smile.

"Hey, Mercedes. How's it going?"

She moves closer and hugs me tight.

Before I can question her, she speaks.

"Boy, I feel like I haven't done that for ages!"

I laugh.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"Of course I do, boo. I'm way too awesome to deny it."

As we laugh, I look away for a moment and spot Blaine. The moment he looks our way, he pauses and grips his bag strap tight before looking down and walking away.

When he's gone, I notice that Mercedes watched it as well.

"Go talk to him."

"What?" I ask, incredulous.

"Come on! You should have seen your face when you saw _his_."

"I'm not the one in the wrong here!"

"Well, is he? Can you really put the blame on him?"

I sigh.

Of course I can't. I simply don't want to admit that he's right, because that would mean I'd have to hand him my secret and I don't want to do that.

"All I'm saying is that you need to go easy on him."

I snort.

"How does me going easy on him play a part in all this?"

She closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Kurt, we both know you like to keep some things personal. Blaine does too. Everyone does."

I frown as I close my locker and turn to her.

"So I'm just supposed to forget his freak out and move on like he didn't run scared from my house? Even Finn saw it, Mercedes. Finn!"

"Sweetie, I think you're forgetting all those times you did the same thing."

Scoffing, I turn away from her and walk down the hall.

"That's different."

"How?" she asks, pulling my arm and making me stop as she steps in front of me, blocking the way.

"I don't know! It is!"

Mercedes look turns from inquisitive to disappointed and maybe even a little angry.

"You know, Kurt, just because you're popular and people love you around here, doesn't mean you get to manipulate him into telling you things when you obviously offer nothing in return."

There's a strained pause and then she continues.

"I thought you were different. I thought you wouldn't let this popularity thing get to your head. I guess it was only a matter of time."

She sighs and walks away.

Mercedes is right, though. I'm being an asshole.

I stand there for a whole minute before running after her to make amends.

* * *

><p>I take the cup and move to a small table near the windows.<p>

"Mind if I join you?"

I'm startled and almost let my coffee drop on the table.

"S-sure."

I wasn't all that sure, but it's not like I'd say no to him.

Kurt takes the other chair and looks down for a bit. He takes a deep breath and then looks me in the eyes.

"We need to talk."

I bite my lip. I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

"What do you want to talk about?"

He fidgets a little with his cup.

"I thought about what you said..."

Oh, God help me. He wants to have _this_ conversation.

"Yes?" I quietly reply, staring deep into my coffee cup, uncertain about what he's going to say next.

He's going to keep pushing for an answer until I blurt it out...

"I have to say I can't take all the credit. Mercedes pushed me towards the right path. You're right. It's not right of me to demand you to tell me what happened that night at my house when I can't tell you some things about myself, either."

I look up in surprise and stare at him for a moment. I let out an internal sigh of relief.

"What exactly did Mercedes say to you? You were pretty set on your own views earlier."

There's a slightly combative and irritated edge to my voice. I hadn't quite let go of his earlier hypocrisy... or my earlier jealousy.

He looks away for a second and something changes in him. I'm not sure what.

"Let's say she made me realize it was unfair to ask something of you without offering something in return. That's all."

His eyes remain locked on something away from us. He's hiding something from me, obviously, if he can't even look me in the eyes when he tells me something like this.

Maybe Mercedes got him to do this, and he really didn't want to? Oh God. He doesn't even mean this!

Anger shoots through my veins and I narrow my eyes. "Mercedes put you up to this?"

He looked appalled and maybe just a bit angry too.

"Of course not! Jeez Blaine, I'm trying to give you an olive branch here! Why don't you just accept it?"

My anger seems to subside a little and I let out a shaky breath. I can't believe what I'm about to say next.

"I _want_ to accept that olive branch Kurt, but..."

"But what?" Kurt asks, tilting his head and giving me a calculating look.

I look up at him and steel myself for what I'm about to say next. I may be needing that anger again to save me sooner than I think.

"But if I accept your peace offering, then I'm basically saying I'm alright with us keeping secrets from each other and burying our heads in the sand. I don't think that makes a foundation for a good friendship."

I trail off as I see the look in his eyes. I've really gone and done it now.

He sighs and shakes his head.

"Blaine, we've been through this before. I never said I'd never tell you about it. I said not now. It's something that has nothing to do with our friendship and I don't know how that little thing could get in the way. So, please, move on and I'll do the same. Maybe later we can revisit it. Not in the near future, though."

"And when will we "re-visit" it then?" I try not to let irritation bleed into my voice. It's hard not to feel frustrated with someone when he's being so blindly stubborn.

His previously regretful and somewhat apologetic tone disappears instantly.

"Blaine, I do_not_ have to explain myself to you if I don't want to. You are _not_ my boyfriend."

And just like that, his arrow is right under my armor to my most tender and vulnerable point. I flinch.

His voice does nothing to contain his fury. My own anger quickly rises, covering the hurt of him dismissing my own secret like such an idea was positively repulsive.

How dare he bring up my sexuality to justify his pig-headedness?

I slam my coffee cup down furiously. Some splashes over the rim and lands on my hand. I don't even notice the burning; the red mist descending and clouding my vision.

"What the hell is your problem? I'm trying to make our friendship a good one here and you're already throwing my biggest secret back in my face!"

They do say the best defense is a good offense...

"I told you I was gay on good faith! I trusted you not to use it against me. Are you just like the rest of the school, against gay people?" I say in a low but still angry tone, not wanting to attract unsolicited attention.

To my surprise, his face goes from angry to blank in a second. The color literally drains from his face. What the hell?

Not even this is enough to get me to stop now that I've started my rant.

"Do you talk to Tina this way? Tell her she's not allowed to ask questions and got to play by your rules? No wonder her and Mike are looking so cozy!"

The words were out before I could stop them. Mercedes told me to keep my mouth shut and I'd broken my promise to her. I look at him in horror. I no longer know what to say, my righteous anger seemingly draining right out of me, down through the ground. The same ground I wish would swallow me up.

His mouth drops open and his eyebrows rise.

"What did you just say about Tina?"

I stutter a bit. He speaks again.

"Do you know something I don't or are you just saying this to piss me off even more?"

I look away. There's no way I can say anything without making this worse now.

"It was nothing. Forget it."

"It didn't sound like nothing. So what is it you know about Tina that I don't?"

Oh God. I promised Mercedes I wouldn't say a word, that I wouldn't find reasons to break them up. And now I just went and blurted it out. She's gonna kick my ass!

And what good will any of this do? He's never going to believe me over his girlfriend. And even if he did, would I really want to be responsible for breaking them up?

Mercedes told me that he trusts Tina more than me. He isn't gonna trust me ever again after the stunt I just pulled. I managed to ruin the possibility of a friendship, all within the space of two minutes.

He's looking at me with his ever expressive eyes. I can see all the emotions swirling in there and none of them are positive. I can't fix this. I just need to get out of here.

"Blaine?"

I get up, leaving my cup of now cold coffee and take my satchel from my chair.

"Blaine, don't you dare leave now," he warns. I don't listen, though.

"Blaine, get back here!" is the last thing I hear before I leave the Lima Bean.

As soon as my feet reach the pavement outside the coffee shop, my pace quickens. I don't want him to catch up and make me spill my beans. I need to talk to Mercedes. She'll know how to fix this.

* * *

><p>I head towards school, totally lost in the blur that was the last half hour.<p>

What had Blaine meant about Tina? Sure, her and Mike were friends. I knew that. But there wasn't anything else to it. Was there?

And why am I even questioning this? Our relationship works because we trust each other. How am I letting someone else interfere with that?

Tina would _never_ cheat on me. Blaine must have been making that up, to get back at me for what I said to him.

A sudden surge of guilt rises up in me and threatens to choke me. I should never have made that remark about his sexuality. He was right; he told me that in confidence. I'm ashamed of myself.

Not only did I take a cheap shot, but I'm a hypocrite.

I reach my locker and fumble with my lock. It takes me three tries before I get the combination right. I need to get this out of my head. I can't let him get to me like this, manipulate me this way. Messing with the most vulnerable parts of my life. Bringing up my insecurities. I won't let him. Damn him!

Ouch!

I bring my thumb to my lips.

And damn that paper as well!

"Kurt!" I turn around and there's Tina waving at me, a soft smile playing round her mouth.

She comes over and hugs me really tight.

I feel a rush of warmth and try to put aside what Blaine said. I really do try.

I smile effortlessly at her. For a moment everything is good again. Everything is always right when she's near me.

I bring my arms around her waist and pull her against me again. Her smile widens and her lips meet mine in a sweet kiss.

"Hello," I say when we break apart, while letting go of her.

"I saw you from over there. Having a heated discussion with your lock then cursing at," she peeks inside my locker, "a paper? Having a bad day already?"

I shrug.

"Let's say the lock had it coming. And the paper picked up a fight with me for no good reason."

She chuckles, but there's an apprehensive look on her face.

"Tina, what's the matter? You look worried about something."

This was just turning out not be my day. All I need was Mercedes to turn up and start shouting at me. Then I would have the hat trick.

"I'm worried about you. You never forget your combination." Her hands fall on my upper arms and move upwards, squeezing my shoulders lightly. "And you seem awfully tense, dear. So the question is: what's wrong with _you_?"

Stupid Blaine, putting stupid doubts in my head. There isn't anything going on between her and Mike. I should just forget what he said.

I shouldn't be dragging Blaine's issues into my relationship with Tina.

"I just had a little disagreement with Blaine earlier. No big deal really. Just a bit annoyed you know?"

She eyes me with interest.

"Oh? What did you argue about this time?"

I hesitate. She prods a bit more.

"Come on. Tell me. Maybe I can help you with something? I'll have an outsider's perspective. Won't that be good?"

I manage to hold back a groan. How can I tell her that her outside perspective is actually the inside one I need?

"Well, the thing is Tina... He, erm, mentioned something which I didn't like and didn't know how to interpret."

Her fingers are now splayed against my chest.

"If you tell me what it was, I can try and interpret it."

I trap her fingers against my chest, idly running my fingers over the tips of hers.

"Well, the thing is, I don't believe him but it still upset me just the same. He brought up Glee club today. He went on about how close some people are in the club."

She frowns and looks up at me.

"What did he say, exactly, that made you get this way, all jittery?"

"He mentioned how... close Mike seems to be to you." I shake my head. "We were having a disagreement. I think he just wanted to say stuff to get me angry."

She looks horrified and hurt. I hate seeing that look upon her face.

"Please don't take that the wrong way, like I'm accusing you of anything. I'm just telling you what he said that got me so mad."

She averted her eyes from my face and back to our now intertwined fingers on my chest. The small smile on her face brings me some hope that this won't be as catastrophic as I initially thought.

"You're actually jealous of Mike? Kurt, you know I only have eyes for you! Mike and I... we're just good friends. You know we met a while ago. That's just it. Nothing's going on, I promise. I'd never do that to you, my dear."

She stands on her toes and kisses my cheek.

"Blaine doesn't know us well, you know? All the other glee members know we're old friends, so they don't really feel the need to bring it up. It's different for a new member that barely knows our last names. Don't worry about it."

Her hold on my hands tightens before her gaze meets mine again.

"He probably thought he was looking out for you. He doesn't want to see you get hurt. He's new round here; he doesn't know stuff like this. Just let it go Kurt. He was probably just trying to be a good friend."

I sigh; showing a calm exterior, while inside I'm cursing Blaine. I'm lucky Tina is the sweetest girl on the planet and didn't get offended. I can't believe the thought that Mike and her could have something actually crossed my mind for a second! I can't let him have this power over me, over my thoughts and decisions, over my freaking relationship! Who does he think he is?

"Yeah, you're probably right."

I close my locker and grab one of her hands, swinging our arms between us as we walk down the hall.

"Let's put this behind us."

"Yes, honey. It was just a silly misunderstanding. Make up with him tomorrow."

Really, what did I do to deserve such a great girl? I will be making sure not to take Blaine's advice in future.

* * *

><p>The door to my locker is slammed shut in front of me as a loud sound reverberates through the walls and makes everyone's attention turn towards me to assess the situation.<p>

"Why are you trying to sabotage my relationship with Tina?"

My mouth drops open.

"What? When did I do such thing?"

Kurt's hand suddenly slams against my locker once more, startling me.

"What the hell, Kurt!"

I look around to see even more people stopping and staring at the scene unfolding before their eyes.

"Why would you make me question Tina's faithfulness?"

"I wasn't trying to make you do anything, Kurt!"

"Then why were you trying to make out that something is happening between Tina and Mike? She says you're just new, that you don't understand and I should forgive you, because you were trying to be a good friend. But Tina wants to believe the best in everybody...She didn't see that you were deliberately trying to get me to doubt her!"

I frown at the accusation. I never would've thought I'd be perceived as the culprit in all this.

I grip my satchel's strap, a nervous habit. I'm actually feeling a bit scared of this new side of Kurt.

I raise my hand in defeat and try to placate him.

"Kurt, I assure you I didn't mean any of that. I'm sorry you see it that way, but it's not true. I never would intentionally mess with you and Tina's relationship."

His eyes seem to burn in incessant and pure anger. He grips my hand and pulls me forward, sneering at me for a second.

I can't help but yelp as his grip tightens and his look turns murderous for a second.

I look down and see how his fingers are pressed against the back of my hand, where the burn from this morning's coffee is getting redder by the second.

"You're hurting me!" I gasp and he quickly lets go.

He looks down to see the bright red blisters forming on the back of my hand.

He says nothing, his eyes returning to my face, still filled with fury and no trace of sympathy for causing me pain.

I've genuinely never seen this Kurt before. Cold, angry and unsympathetic. Perhaps I had been wrong about him all along? This crush thing was looking worse for me as each second ticked by.

I cradle my hand close to my chest and try to ignore the burning pain. Kurt continues to look at me with nothing more than anger and impassivity on his face.

I begin to turn away, not only to get away from him but the crowd of people staring at us. I just had one last thing to say to him, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Stay away from me," he snarls, pointing at my face before turning and leaving me there, leaning against the lockers, with dozens of people looking at me, giving me all the sympathy I couldn't get from Kurt.

"Blaine?"

I look up at Mercedes.

"What happened? Why are you clutching your hand? And why is everyone in this school looking at you?"

I gulp.

"I think I inadvertently created a monster, Mercedes."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I feel like I should point out that I'm not trying to make any character become "evil" or something. In Kurt's case, he's simply projecting his insecurities, confusion, and anger. I'll fix it, don't worry.

Let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hey. So I think I'm a little past the "sorry I'm late" comment. I know it took me a while to post this, but I was struggling with the last parts in this. Anyway, I hope those who are still around will enjoy this. Once again, thanks for the reviews and alerts. It's good to know there's people out there reading and interested in seeing where this is going. This has a few POV changes. I think you can figure out who it is without me having to mention if it's Kurt or Blaine. It's mostly Kurt's, though. Still, if you think it'd be better if I said who it is before, let me know! Well, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p>To say I didn't see it coming is a big understatement. The moment my back hits the wall, my eyes automatically close, as the pain starts to set in.<p>

"You think we'd let it go unattended?"

I squint at the three guys that have me cornered against one of the school walls outside.

"Who are you people? And what the hell is wrong with you?"

They laugh and look at each other, before one of them steps closer, grabbing my collar.

"We know about you, Blaine Anderson. And you don't need to know about us. You just need to know about Fury," he says, lifting his fist in front of my face.

I shiver in pure terror. What are they talking about?

"What did I do to you?"

"To us? We heard you're out to steal our Kurt's girl. We're not okay with that."

I frown and the hand gripping my shirt pushes me even more against the wall.

"I'm not trying to steal his girlfriend."

"That's not what he was yelling at you yesterday," one of the guys says.

"Listen, you got it all wrong. That's not what happened," I tried to explain, but stopped abruptly when "Fury" met my stomach.

"Don't lie to us! I was there. I heard plain well what Hummel said."

I cough.

The hand keeping me in place leaves me when footsteps can be heard.

"Let's get out of here!"

They run away and I slide down, clutching my sore stomach.

"Blaine? Oh my God! What happened?" Rachel asks as she kneels beside me, with Finn close behind her.

"Dude?"

I cough again.

"Some guys saying I'm trying to steal Tina from Kurt. It was just a big misunderstanding. It's okay. I'm sure it won't happen again."

They exchange worried looks before Rachel focuses on me again.

"Let's take you to the nurse. Finn will try to fix this, okay?"

"Sure. I'm sorry this happened, dude."

I nod.

"It's okay, Finn."

He leaves. Rachel helps me stand and escorts me to the school's nurse.

What did I get myself into?

* * *

><p>Clutching a bag of ice to the back of my head, I sit quietly in choir room, with Rachel beside me.<p>

"My God, B! What happened?"

Mercedes takes the empty seat on my side and cradles my head.

"Karofsky and his friends beat him up. They think he wants Tina," Rachel explains.

Mercedes eyes meet mine.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. This is so messed up."

Another grasp can be heard in the room. I look up to see Tina running towards me.

"Oh God. It started, didn't it? They finally decided to bully you because of you being in glee club. I'm sorry, Blaine."

"Actually," Rachel starts only to be immediately interrupted by Mercedes.

"You're right, Tina. We knew it was only a matter of time. We just didn't know it'd be this bad the first time around. We figured it'd be the usual slushy. How wrong were we?"

I look at the door of the room only to find Kurt's questioning gaze.

I have to look away and do my best not to let a sob erupt from deep inside me.

Knowing how cold he was with me yesterday, how because of his outburst this misunderstanding happened and now I'm paying for it… it's just too much for me to handle right now, when I can barely keep my thoughts clear due to the throbbing pain in my head.

When I look up again, his look has softened.

Before I can try to interpret it, Puck walks into the choir room and Kurt leaves hurriedly.

I sigh and soon we all get back to our class.

* * *

><p>I walk towards Tina's locker. She's not here yet, but she'll be soon.<p>

When she sees me she smiles lightly. It's not the usual big smile I get.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, caressing her cheek tenderly.

"You know how we feel when one of us gets picked on."

My hand freezes momentarily on her face.

"Is this about Blaine?"

She looks up.

"Did you see the state he was in? Those guys… they're monsters, Kurt!"

Tina grabs me close, suddenly. I hug her back, rubbing her back comfortingly.

"I know. It's not fair."

"It's usually jokes or, in the worst cases, slushies being thrown at us. It's never been this bad before, Kurt."

I hold her tighter as her body shakes from her sobbing.

"I'm gonna talk to them, see what this is about. Is that okay? Will you feel better if I do that?" I ask her, when deep down I know I'm doing this for myself. I want to know what's behind all this unusual violence.

"Please do it, Kurt. If you can find a way to fix this, do it. Poor Blaine."

I look away from her sad face and nod.

* * *

><p>"Mercedes?"<p>

She looks up at me.

"Kurt. Are you… okay? I heard what happened yesterday with Blaine."

The guilt weighs on my back.

"I know. I don't know what came over me. I was furious with him, but I've had time to think about it. Tina is right; Blaine didn't mean it in a bad way. He was trying to be a good friend. I messed up."

She sighs and grabs my arm.

"You did. Big time. When you yelled at him yesterday, one of the football guys heard it and thought that Blaine's trying to grab Tina away from you."

I frown.

"What? That's ridiculous, Blaine would never…" I shut up before I say something I shouldn't.

Mercedes chuckles, though.

"I know, sweetie. Don't worry. I know about… Blaine. He told me about it."

"Oh. But, does that mean that what happened to Blaine today was my fault?"

She shakes her head.

"It wasn't your fault, Kurt. It's their fault. They're ignorant dumbasses that think everything gets solved with the swing of a fist."

I need to come up with something to put a stop to this madness. I need to sleep on this.

* * *

><p>Later the next day, on my way to meet with Tina and Mercedes, I hear some noises coming from the hallway on my left. I approach slowly and carefully.<p>

"Once again, you got it all wrong!"

Blaine? What the hell?

"Don't play us, new boy. We're the ones with the muscle here."

I hear Blaine whimper. When I sneak a glance at the hallway, I see Blaine on his knees, with Azimio holding his arm behind his back and Karofsky standing in front of him, smiling wickedly.

"Ready to meet with the Fury again?"

Before Blaine can answer, I see Karofsky's fist moving forward.

I take a step back, my back against the wall behind me, and close my eyes, the only proof of what's happening being Blaine's anguished sounds.

I gulp and peak again. Blaine is looking down and biting his lip.

"It's okay. No one's around this building at this time. And those who are, they know best and don't stand up to us. So feel free to yell, new boy."

Karofsky moves forward suddenly and Blaine closes his eyes, but nothing happens.

Instead, Azimio lets go of his arm and the boy slumps forward suddenly. The other two boys laugh.

I glance round the door once more, trying to find the courage to walk into the hall and stop this. I might still be a bit angry at Blaine but no one deserves this treatment from the school bullies.

I see Blaine look up at Karofsky, defiance entering his features.

"You've still got it all wrong," he says, fierce determination and a refusal to give in showing plainly in his clenched teeth and hardened eyes.

For a minute I feel a surge of pride in him. Not many would have dared to have given Karofsky cheek after the first punch.

Then I see him take another swipe at Blaine and this time, there was blood. I actually had to grapple with my own urge to throw up, not only because of what I was watching, but the knowledge that this is happening because of me.

Blaine lets out a muffled cry of pain while Azimio leans against the row of lockers and continues to laugh.

I was waiting for Blaine to slide to the floor and give into his pain. This was apparently the last thing on Blaine's mind.

Blaine spits out the blood from his burst lip, not onto the floor but right onto Karofsky's shoes. Azimio stops laughing and looks shocked at Blaine's audacity. Karofsky lets out an angry grunt, readying himself for his next attack.

I see Blaine quickly but unsteadily push himself to his feet, before staggering forwards into Karofsky and grabbing his coat with both hands. Karofsky grinned nastily, obviously planning to do some serious damage to Blaine.

I felt I should intervene before we're all attending Blaine's funeral.

But it seems that Blaine was made of tougher stuff than I had guessed, as suddenly his grip tightens on the jock's coat and he brings his knee up swiftly to connect with Karofsky's family jewels.

Karofsky lets out a howl of pain and slides back against the wall. Has Blaine gone mental or does he just have a death wish?

Azimio doesn't look as smug or as amused anymore. He even looks a bit afraid of what Blaine will do, now he hasn't got his buddy to back him up.

Blaine forces out a few words through bloody teeth. "Are you guys deaf as well as stupid? I _said_ I wasn't trying to steal Kurt's girl."

And with that, Blaine manages to stumble towards the door, to make his escape before Karofsky can recover. I jump back from the door and press myself against the wall before he can see me. I'm fortunate he doesn't spot me as he makes his way out the door and out of this hallway as quickly as his damaged body will allow.

And what was this about him stealing my girl? He sure as hell isn't trying to steal her; he just wants to break us up! Then I remember what Mercedes told me.

Karofsky and his thugs think yesterday's big blow-out was about Blaine trying to steal Tina. And I was warning him off. And now they've decided to show me some solidarity and deal with this new guy for trying to cross the popular guy.

Shit.

Many different emotions erupt within me at the same moment. Anger at Karofsky and Azimio for interfering in this. Anger at Blaine for interfering in my relationship and forcing me to take the hard line with him. Anger at myself for blowing up in a public place. Guilt for not having stopped this sooner. And glimmering with just a tiny amount of light in amongst all the rest, that undeniable feeling of pride I have for Blaine for not letting anyone push him around. For doing what I could never do.

* * *

><p>When the group of boys leaving the locker room turns to face me, their faces break into big smiles.<p>

"Hey, Hummel!"

"Save it. What do you think you're doing?"

Azimio frowns.

"What do you mean?"

My hands are planted against my hips.

"Why are you picking on Blaine?"

"Man, we've got your back. We heard you say he was trying to steal your girl. We decided to get involved. Has he stepped away from her already?"

I shake my head and expel a big gulp of air.

"You morons," I say. "I was angry. I said things I didn't mean, okay? I thought he wanted to break me and Tina apart, but," I stop for a breath, at the same time racking my brain for a good reason to make them stop this foolishness. "He was trying to warn me. He was actually being a good friend. He saw some guy hanging around her at some shop and he thought they were having an affair. We sorted it out. I talked to Tina about it and she explained it was some cousin of her. It was just a misunderstanding."

They look surprised.

"Oh. We thought he wanted your girl, man."

I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I feel like I lose years of my youth every time I have to deal with these guys in any way or form.

"What's done is done. Just don't go hitting him again for no good reason. Make sure you're right before you leap into your violent way of solving problems."

"Yeah. Sorry about that, man," Azimio says.

"Okay. I'm leaving. Don't do it again."

When I'm almost out of earshot, I hear Karofsky.

"Cheer up, guys! He's still in glee club, which means we can still have our fun!"

"Yeah!" came the chorused answer.

I shake my head. Some things will never change.

* * *

><p>Once he spots me, he turns around and starts walking away in a quick pace.<p>

I roll my eyes.

"Blaine, wait!"

Of course he doesn't. I have to chase him all the way back to the end of a hall. Before he can come up with an excuse to go away, I grip his arm and pull him inside an empty classroom, closing the door behind me and leaning against it to prevent Blaine from leaving the room.

"Blaine," I start again.

"I thought you wanted me to stay away from you. That's exactly what I was doing just now."

One eyebrow rises.

"No. That was you using that as an excuse to avoid me for a little while longer," I reason with him.

He turns to look at me, eyes wide with fear.

"No, Kurt. That was me trying to stay out of trouble by doing what you asked. Now, if you could please let me get out of here."

I frown and my hand grips the doorknob behind me, as if preventing Blaine from even touching it.

"Are… are you afraid of me?" I ask in a low voice, incredulous.

"Just let me go and I'll stay out of your way, I promise," he says, cradling his hand to his chest and…

_Shit._

My eyebrows rise and my eyes are blown wide as I recall what happened to it.

I leave the door and slowly approach him.

"Oh, Blaine. I'm really sorry," I tell him honestly.

When my hand reaches out to him, though, he flinches away from my touch, like a wounded and scared animal. I take a step back and pretend that didn't hurt me at all.

"I never meant to hurt you, believe me."

"I'm sorry if I'm having some trouble believing that right now," he retorts.

Okay. Maybe I should try a different approach.

"Okay. That's fair. I understand you're hurt and you need some time. I'll stay away, but promise me we'll talk about it sometime and solve this mess."

He looks away in silence. I swallow back that uncomfortable feeling that I screwed up royally and won't get another chance.

"Please, Blaine. Let me fix it. Let me fix what all this mess made to our friendship. Let us get back what we had before."

He's shaking his head slowly and I don't think that can be a good sign.

"I don't think I can promise you that, Kurt. I don't think that things can go back to what we had before because things changed; drastically."

I try to ignore that sudden deep pang in my chest as he says this.

Finally, he looks up at me.

"I'm… I'm scared of you," he admits. "You showed me a whole new side to you yesterday, Kurt. A side I'd be better off not knowing. I don't know if I could ever trust you again after that."

I take another small step closer to him. He seems to close a bit on himself but doesn't flinch as hard as before nor does he move away.

"Let me try. I promise you won't have to see that side of me again."

He smirks.

"You can't promise that."

"I can! And I am," I argue.

Slowly, my fingers draw near Blaine's fingers resting on the table he's leaning on.

He looks down at my hand and I can see his own hand trembling, his fight or flight instincts waging a war inside him.

His fingers spasm sporadically. I'm a few millimeters away from actually touching his skin and he's frightened as hell; I can feel it.

I pause and look at him until his gaze meets mine again.

"Please," I plead. "Let me."

Without dropping his gaze, my hand moves and finds his, which is now twitching slightly under my light grasp.

There's a deep, sharp intake of breath and an intense atmosphere. I don't really know what's happening, but there are small spurts of electricity and then Blaine's flight instinct takes over and he leaves before I can stop him.

I sigh and my shoulders drop.

But, as I leave the room and close the door behind me, I can still feel what remains of that electric energy on my hand.

* * *

><p>"Are you alright?"<p>

I look up from the book I was pretending to read.

"What?"

"I asked if you're alright," Tina repeats, as she takes the chair opposite me in the library.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? Because you're doing that thing where you pretend to be busy when you're actually just lost in your thoughts because something's troubling you."

I smile at her.

"How do you know me so well?"

"I'm your girlfriend, Kurt. It's my job to know you like no one else does," she answers simply.

"True."

I'm such a liar.

"So what's on your mind?"

"Not much. Just some little thing I'll have to deal with. But don't worry, it's nothing bad. By the way," I try for a slight change of subject. "I talked with Karofsky and the others. They said they weren't going to attack Blaine again. They did mention something about slushies still being allowed when I left them alone again, though, so I guess that once the teasing started, it won't stop anytime soon."

She seems a lot more relieved by the news I brought her.

"I'm just glad they decided to tone it down from all that violence. Did you see his face today?"

I gulp. I saw his face, alright. But somehow, knowing that that burn in his hand that seems almost insignificant in comparison to all the violence he had to deal with was actually my fault, makes me feel like I should be the one to blame for all the rest that's happened.

"Yeah. I know it doesn't look nice, but I'm sure it won't happen again. It was just a huge misunderstanding."

She frowns.

"A misunderstanding? Didn't they do that because of glee club? As far as I know, they didn't get that wrong, right?"

"Uh, r-right," I stutter. "Anyway, I was about to revise some of my studies now."

"When you were done pretending to actually reading them?" she asks with a smirk.

"Exactly," I answer with an easy smile. "Do you want to join me?"

"In the pretending or the actual studying? Because I'll let you know that the first option sounds far better than the second. Especially if we go study somewhere else."

She stands up and grabs her backpack. Sending me a wink over her shoulder, she leaves the library, motioning for me to follow her.

I pack my things in record time.

* * *

><p>I think it only really hits me later that night. After I'm done with my homework and already lying in bed, that's when I really stop to think about things. I was keeping my mind busy before, but now that all's done and I'm just here waiting for sleep to take over me, I wonder how I didn't even notice before how weird things had gotten today.<p>

Things with my girlfriend were different. Mercedes was different. Hell, even things with Blaine were completely different!

He admitted to be afraid of me. Now, I was mad before, yes. I don't know what came over me. I think I was stressed and ended up lashing out at him. However, I would never hurt someone on purpose. Well, not someone who hasn't given me a good reason to do it in the first place.

He's a nice guy and we have a lot in common. With him as my friend, we could talk about some things other people don't usually like to talk about.

But, with him afraid of me, I don't think we can talk about anything at all. Not with the way he keeps avoiding me. And trying to corner him won't work in my favor, as I've already seen proof of, today.

Part of me just feels like throwing my hands up in the air and say _'Screw it all! This friendship is even more difficult to keep than it is to deal with my actual relationship with Tina.'_

But the other part of me tells me that we could be great friends if only we could move past all this.

I sigh loudly as I turn on my side and hug the bed covers closer to my body. Eventually, Finn's soft snores lull me to sleep and my mind is cleared of all the messed up thoughts that keep tormenting me.


End file.
